Bare Beginnings II

Seems it’s been a while I was here! Feels good though. Same old me with some new escapades. I was not lost but then I didn’t get the chance to venture into one of my favourite escapes. Don’t know where to start and what to write as my mind is going through a myriad range of emotions. But yes, there are lot’s of things to write and I shall again head to this escape of mine, soon! For everything else, there is Himalayas. 

Last few days have been emotionally grinding or rather drenching. I was hoping to start the new year on a happy note, just like the way I have been since last 6 years. I remember, 2011 was one year I wanted to get rid of in hurry. It came with a lot’s of hiccups but then it gave me many savouring memories as well. Last 5 years been very rewarding though (I shall come back soon to reveal some tiny details about them). But then yes, 2017 so far has tested my patience like never before but at the same time, taking all the positives out of it, I stand here…Upbeat! Spirited!

Just to kick start and break the shackles I’m jotting down these words. 2011 to 2016 to 2017 …it’s been a great transition. Let me tell you a few things that inspired this journey but with a warning that I can draw inspiration from tiniest or strangest of things and I am glad, I can. 

July 2011, it was the beginning of my fightback as I saw a struggling Indian Cricket Team going down. What inspired me there was a gentleman named Rahul Dravid who stood still in between all the ruins and defied defeat as long as possible. Talk about patience, perseverance and focus or may be poise, grace and determination? Talk about this man. I knew I could never replicate his cricketing talent or feats but I also knew what I could learn from him. 

August 2011, Jill! Her arrival changed many things as I found a new meaning of the word Zeal. 

November 2011, the Movie Rock Star and it’s Music. I was reading an interview by A.R. Rahman where he mentioned how he struggled to get the Music right as it had a lot of pain involved. It was about how he drenched himself emotionally to get the Music right. Talk about passion? Then talk about this man. Ever since it’s been ‘Sadda Haq Aithe Rakh’ and ‘Nadan Parinde’. 

December 2011, another incident of Indian Test Team struggling. This time it was Australia. India lost 0-4 and ended the year 0-8. What was positive there was a man named Mahendra Singh Dhoni. Talk about staying calm, staying composed and dealing all the pressure of a losing team and being aggressive? Talk about this man. He’s someone very contemporary, yet I look upto him for being level headed and witty at the same time. 

Probably all these won’t make any sense to many of us, but then I think a few would take the positives out of this just like I did. The journey of last 5 years have been very intriguing also very very struggling at times. It’s not so easy to be 'Arpan' (A few would surely understand what I mean here). 

Today as I start 2017 on a happy note, I would like to thank every person I’ve come across, the good, the bad and the ugly, the old and the new ones. Also the ones who came with vested benefits and the ones who came and stayed back forever. Thanks to every organisation I have been a part of, Enajori, Metropolis, Photography Club of Assam, WildTrail for being the integral part of this journey. I must mention, Muse & Memories, my teammates both past and present, it’s because of you all MnM is spreading happiness today. Keep shining in all you do. 

As I promise to keep coming back to write a few (mis)adventures, I hope that the days to follow will have bright lights ahead and life will keep smiling at us in all we do and deserve, here’s to a Happy 2017. 

Unleash! Let’s celebrate all we have and say yes to ‘Life’! 

Citing Sublimity!

Singing, working, walking, dreaming, laughing, learning! Life is always about running madly, in a crowded schedule, into a confined enclosure.

Everyone sees, whom I appear to be, but only an odd few know the real me. Everyone see only what I choose to show.  There’s so much into my life, where I celebrate me, a world, far from the madding crowd, far from the stardom. Only a few friends, conversations and lot’s of untold fables.

Operation Pendulum

Quite often I have faced this question, about me being calm, patient and me facing almost every situation with a wide smile. Today, am on my way to reveal that secret of mine, also a little tribute on my part to the man to whom I owe this quality. A man admired and idolised by a huge part of the world for some other quality he acquires, I opted his patience to be admired (I do admire his most known quality too and believe I can remotely be an ounce of what he acquires).

It was not very long ago, I was very young then. There was arrogance in all I do, and there was impatience and impertinence. I remember that day very clearly, January 17, 1997, one of the most special days of my cricket playing days.  It was a match day as we call it. We were divided into two teams to play against each other for selection purpose. And before going into the match, it was made clear to me, however good or bad I perform, my selection is impossible, I was ripped of my wicketkeeper’s slot, asked to vacate my no 3. position and bat down the order to make things more clear. A lot of things were running in my mind, I didn’t know, what was the feeling, all I knew is, I have to go in and play. At the end of the opposition innings, we were needed to score 173 runs within a day and a little to bat on.  Our innings started, and within 7 over’s we were reduced to 28 for 2 wickets.  And that same moment, my impatience erupted again, so much so that I went in to bat without even looking at who is in next. Thankfully we tackled the rest of the day without any further damage, and I could remember the ball hitting me twice on my wrist, the pain (it was a January afternoon) and the tough looks at the dressing room.  The pain was horrible, and the discussions were such that I would not go in to bat the next day because am injured. At that point of time, I started to think the same.

And that was day, while at home, I put on the television, I saw a legend emerging to trigger a change of scenario of Indian Cricket for next decades to come.  That was the second day of 3^rd Test between India and South Africa being played at Johannesburg. I saw a gentleman named Rahul Dravid, scoring a patient; gritty and hardworking 148 against a scintillating South African pace attack and change my life forever. For I started to believe in the power of patience and hard work. Next day was my day probably (not talking about my heroics here). I headed to the dressing room, padded up, and yes waited for my batting partner to get ready (one thing I never used to do before!) and went out to bat. We batted the whole day, sailing towards the target, and to my awe I never attacked the ball, even if it was a wayward one. And just when we needed 3 runs, my excited batting partner came up to me and said, “It’s your game mate, hit it!!!” It was only then, I gathered all my strength and hit a stellar six. And as I saw some of my young teammates running towards me, I stood my ground, strangely, for a person known for his after match reactions, screams and antics.  Later, when we all walked backed to the dressing room; I saw tough looks being changed to its smoother replica. I packed my kit, looked at the celebrating team and walked away holding my head high, and promised myself to never enter that particular dressing room ever. And that was the beginning of what I am today, patient and calm.

I don’t know, if someone whom we have never met, or have a very remote probability of meeting in this life can ever change someone’s life forever. But this gentleman named Rahul Dravid unquestionably did change my life forever. Take a bow Sir! Probably you played a pauper when the Prince was roaring, played the second boy of Indian Cricket when the God of Cricket was hitting them to the stands and played the second fiddle when the Very Very Special was building monuments, but for me you are a true hero, not only for all the cricketing skills you master and your contribution to Indian and World Cricket, but for all the times of patience, consistency and calmness, for all the times I could look up to you and regain my self belief. Take a bow Sir!

P.S. I’m sure, the ‘my story’ part of this write up is very confusing. What I want to denote through this is not my heroics but a small message that actually inspiration can be gathered from anyone and anywhere. We just have to look around to see it smiling at us.

The Unnoticed Tales!

Study while others are sleeping, work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing ~~ William Arthur Ward

The after effects of the year 2011 are yet to fade. I waited and waited long for that ripple, that little shift that would help me get back on track. And one fine day, when this opportunity knocked I actually had that apprehension whether I could do justice to the task I’m assigned. For a social animal like me, it was tough to stay away from any public appearance for 3 months. Karbi Youth Festival turned out to be a life changing experience for me. When I was asked to join the team as one of the official photographers I was both excited and nervous at the same time. Only thing that came to my mind is, I need to do well, if not for me, then for the people who wants me to do good. And to my awe, I actually did a good job. And as I am no celebrity, I don’t have a podium to address a crowd and thank the people who stood by me, all I would like to say is my world is a beautiful place because of you all, only a mere ‘thank you’ is not enough to express what you people mean to me. I won’t say this is the best I can do, but with you people around I can always compete myself.  One unnoticed tale of my life and I vow, it won’t go unnoticed.

This is for you Santanu, Kasturi, Angana, for being there during tough times. I still remember the day when I dropped my camera and every word you said to make me calm down, remember how you people pepped me up saying positive things. Santa, I wish you were there beside me clicking all those amazing memories. Kastu, Angu...I have no words to appreciate the angelic ways you cared for me.  This is for you Ranjan, for believing in my abilities and going ahead with my plans. Together we’ll weave many more dreams. This is for you Him, for being there always in your own ways. This is for you Audi, I still remember that chat we had at the Brahmaputra riverside and you were so clear always that you wanted me back on track. For you Achyut, while you are busy thanking others for liking your work, I thank you for all those inspiring clicks of yours. For you Jumi, for all those awe inspiring chats we had. For you Kaku, for you always wanted the smiling me back, and here I am. Remember, you promised a photo shoot of you and Jiya. For you Sima, situations made me so reluctant of making any public appearance that I missed your Big Day. I can’t compensate for that, but then I know, you would understand my plea. For you Alok, Pallav... many things would not have been possible without you two around. For you Kulajit, Krishanu, Bhavita, Sakshi, Shweta and Kalyan. I remember Kalyan saying, “naya chonga (lens) liya hain, agar photo kharab ayaa, toh chonga le lunga.” For you my partners in creative crimes Rassmin Da, Bhaskar, Bitupon, Sudipto, Sweta. For you Palki, Pallavi, Pallabi(Maina) for always inducting the faith in me, for being tough when I was stupid and for all the care you have shown. For you Jipi, Liza...for I can always look up to you and you whisper the reality to me. For you Yashomana, for all those did you get my mail? Did you check the photos? Are they good? And for always coming up with an inspiring reply. For you Pallabi (Siku), for all the fables and conversations. I can’t hate destiny more for allowing me to spend so less time with you ‘soul sister’.

...and to all of u people who loved my work, inspired me and also criticised me when needed! You people make me what I am.

Mud and Glory

So the first quarter of the year 2012 is already gone, and as usual I’m not up to the promise I made myself, that I’ll make sure to write at least a note every month. Finally it’s time to jot down what made my 2011 memorable and not so memorable.

Oh!! What a roller coaster ride it was! Another year is gone by in a whim. It is actually amazing, to see where life makes you stand at different times, seems like sci-fi movie. In a moment you are here, in a moment you are gone. It takes a fraction of a second to turn super zero from super hero. So much so like our Indian Cricket Team. We bleed blue, when they brought the World Cup home, and when they toured England/Australia and lost, it was again the same us, who wrote them down. It is indeed the sarcasm of human life, Mud and Glory; both are integral and corresponding part of our life. The year 2011 was more of low than the high. At times life appeared to be so empty, I’ve learned how it feels to hit rock bottom and still push hard to survive. As if life is a patch of quicksand, the more I tried to come out, and the more it gulped me in. Time, things, people never seemed to be cascading. Thoughts strayed, questions unanswered.

But consequently, there is also a good side of it. May be not in the best order, but things happened.

There are many people I need to thank for last year’s journey, without you people around it would have been more uneven.

Thank you Kulajit, Krishanu, Bhabita, Shweta, Sakshi & Kalyan. Minutes turned into hours, and hours into day, days into month. Never knew, time could fly so fast. Courtesy you people! Leg pulling sessions, movies and off course a thousand unexecuted plans became part of life. Thank you Kasturi, Santanu, Angana, Kalyan, Achyut, Kaku, Himjyoti, Maina Da. All the rooftop parties, the conversations, the cooking sessions, the laugh riot, pranks, photo sessions made my Delhi stay real special. Jumi, Audi your presence was royally missed. Love you all! Thank you Jiya. Can’t thank and love you enough angel, surely you are one. It was only after talking to you; I could complete my project on the stipulated timeline.  Wish I could spend more time with you. Thank you Mukuta. For being the silence on my bad days and my raving fan on my good days. Thank you Tusti. Loved calling you ‘Puwali’ and glad to see you grow up, also learned that I should not hide behind my smile often. Thank you Sneha. Tikli, that’s what I call you. But most of the time, it was you, who guided me like an elder sis. Thank you for being the illumination whenever I needed. Thank you Pallabi for making me believe that I could tell stories that people would want to hear. My creativity may have strayed, but at least the writer in me is still on pursuit. Thank you Pallavi for all the pep talk, food talk, unending chats, laugh riot and off course the odd tough words to push me forward. Thank you Alok, Anannya, Debasish, Debarsish, Liza, Jipi, Sima, Mitu, Pallav, Siba, Sang, Plabita, Palki, Bhaskar, Bitupon, Shamim, Sweta. Can’t thank you enough my lazy angels, my punching bags and what not. You people always let me see myself through you. Loved looking back at you. Thank you Baa, for blessing us with Jill. It’s amazing to see you taking care of your bundle of joy with so much love and care. Thank you Ritu. For all the support and encouragement, because of you DEF happened to me. How can I forget my ‘Baccha Party’! Thank you Babu, Bablu, Nayana, Sanskriti, Abhinab, Augustya, Nandita & Gargee. You people never failed to make me feel young. Loved being your cook.

Under the circumstances, best wishes hardly seem enough. Thanks are in order. Thank you for your companionship, for your stamina, your wisdom, and a hundred and one laughs. I also enjoyed looking back at you and your shining face.

Never was so excited to let go something. 2011, now that you are finally gone, along with all the hiccups, you also gave some savouring memories. Hope the days to follow will have bright lights ahead and life will keep smiling at us in all we do and deserve. Grateful for my family, for my true friends and for all the love I receive. So much more than I deserve, or can ever repay. Happy 2012.

Go, Meet The World!

They say you need to recollect and relive your good times when you are going through a bad phase. Being me, was always so easy for me, it always bordered sleepwalking. But today as I stand here, I just got the feeling that this guy, who is self inspired, who loves to inspire others to stand up to anything that comes up, didn’t stored any for himself. I still remember, how a few friends of mine, still look up to me, they say that they have this belief that I can make things look simple and easy. Some say, my smile diminishes half of their problems. But then, it’s not always easy to inspire yourself. To talk happiness to every person you meet. To make all your friends feel that there is something in them. To wear a cheerful countenance at all time as and give every living creature you meet a smile.

Standing at this state of affairs, where the heart says I should and the mind says I should not; I actually never thought I have to self motivate myself someday. As they say, one should always remember where they originate from; almost certainly I should go back to where I began.

I remember my debut. I was so damn nervous. Not talking to anyone, I just went in. And I remember, someone told me, “go in boy, and don’t make eye contact to anyone in the audience, if you feel nervous just look at us”. That was the beginning. And during the next few years, that same me, used to tell his fellow musicians, “go in there, have fun, don’t look anywhere, if you feel nervous just look at me”. 

As a musician, I know, it’s not easy to go in and give your best every time. We know our strengths and we know our flaws. But we can always improve and deliver. All we need to do is enjoy and create memories.  Today it’s our turn to go in because we are the chosen ones to do so. Let us not think too much, not over analyze, not over react, not act overtly responsible! Let’s not anyone take away this moment from us, let’s go into our own musical world where we are celebrated, slowly, savouring each moment.

Holding onto my pair of drumsticks, trying to gather all my strength, my experience, my memories and all the fun I had, this is me! Going in for the one last time! To the chanting crowd, to the cheers, to the rhythm and to the Music!

Remember Me

“If you could hear me, I would say that our finger prints don't fade from the lives we've touched.” ~~Tyler Hawkins in Remember Me

Being good is not always easy. You do everything for people, try to make them happy not for your own benefits but just that it will make you happy too. They smile, you smile….they cry, you cry. Probably it’s the care that’s within us speaks, the child within us weeps.

But then, we are humans and we tend to make mistakes. The strangest thing is that even after doing so many things or so much for people they ask for more. Probably today the world is so selfish that everything we do or say makes someone feel that we have some hidden reason to do so. It is actually amazing how fast friendships and relationships can go to shit. People will throw away so many years in one single day.

We do things for people…at times when they seek some help and at times when we generously offer to do. But that definitely doesn’t mean that we have a hidden agenda behind that. Probably these people didn’t see the emotion or affection that connects us to them…but after all we are humans too, we too get hurt, we too feel betrayed at times…we don’t reply or retaliate doesn’t mean that we accept every blame that’s been given to us.

I really wonder why people suddenly change after they get what they wanted. One day they are sweet, the next day they are not. One day they are here, the next day they are not. One day you are important to them, the next day you are worthless. That's how ironic things and people can be.

Frankly and very honestly speaking…where is my fault??? Being there for you at your moment of distress…sacrificing my spot of happiness for you…spending sleepless nights tackling your problems…is this what I get as a reward??? May be yes!!! I’m mean...for I think you to be same as mine…yes I’m mean ‘coz I expect the same things from you…yes I’m mean because I forget and forgive everything…your blunt blunt words, your humiliation, your sarcasm…everything. Yes I’m mean for I’m a person taken for granted always. Yes I‘m mean for I’m an idiot…a ‘Prized Idiot’. I’m prized…for being such an idiot, for trying to spread smile all around…and become a villain instead of a hero…most remarkably being villain to people who once themselves made me a hero.

Yes!!! It's my story! It’s our story! In life, we all stood on both the sides of this story.  

Notes For You

I want you to know that what I note down is often not how I feel, and at the same time altogether exactly how I feel.

Today, I have so many words to write but I just can't get them to form correctly in my head. I can't get my ideas onto paper anymore. I miss seeing my fingers fly over the keys. I miss walking out of work with a smile because I came up with the best idea. I miss the sound of rushing water, and the dappled sunbeams that drifts lazily through the trees. I miss clicking. I miss the adventures that came with the click of every frame, I miss creating that magic myself.

But I am also a person, a guy. I want to be loved and held. I want to fight and cry and kiss and laugh.

I want to laugh. I want you to make me laugh. Because you can!

And I'll to write it down and try to remember what it felt like to be in love. How it felt to be completely in love with you. I don't hold back and I will do my best to be honest. But I am an artist and an artist lives within a watchfully made fantasy. They may have a life outside of this fantasy, but to the artist that is not their reality. That is not who they are. Not truly who they are to themselves. And no one will ever know of this complex fantasy, because that's when things fall apart that cannot be put back together again.

I want to lay in the grass, I want to fall asleep in your arms. I want to feel you kiss my neck and feel your arms pull me closer to you. I want to be close to you. I want to be your mystery. I don't ever want the puzzle of you to spell it out for me.

I forgot to laugh like I used to. I forgot to jump around. I forgot to chat with my friends for long hours. I forgot how it was to go out friends. I forgot how it was to be happy and mesmerizing, because I created, clicked or wrote something nice. The colours, the nature, innocence, and beauty nothing seems to captivate me anymore.

I don't want to let you know that I drown in your memory; I don't want to let this go. Wish I had the courage to lie to you. But I don't. Because I can’t lie to you.

Come and take me away to my Dreamland again!! This land is dry, sour n rough!!

Blue Ink Diary

So, She gave me a Blue Ink Diary and I gave her a sad smile...it was an uneven trade, like most of the things in this relationship.

I spent the rest of the day carrying it around after she gave it to me; seriously, I didn't let it out of my sight. I’m excited. I started working on it. Hopefully it'll turn out good. I’ve given it a title and the direction will be wherever my life takes me, quotes, photos, designs, music, write ups, everything...

I loved this girl before; I love her now...I love her now, even more. With everything I have. I have abandoned all common sense and dived into this, this comfortable love that challenges both of us to expand beyond who we think we are today.  I want to keep growing with her. I never want this to end. And while there's still that rational part of me that says that this most likely will end, the rest of me is gone with hopeless abandon. And I’m loving every minute of it.  I’m going crazy; I’m planting roots, and spreading my wings. I wish to write every love line ever written.

She is the good night I hear before I go to bed, and the smile I wake up to! She drives me absolutely crazy in every imaginable way, just utterly crazy. And yet, there is that stability that says you can depend on me, it’s ok to be weak, I’m here to be your strength. She is the silence on my bad days and my raving fan on my good days, and I will spend the rest of my life indebted to her and the way she has treated me.

Knowing this might not last forever! It is here today! And I’m here today! I'll write down this love story in a Blue Ink Diary.

Smile!

Be good!

And stay safe my love!

Because We Ended As Lovers!

The myth continues...so does the argument. A boy and a girl can never be friends!!! People say, friends who are of the opposite sex truly and entirely confuse them. They don't understand how two people of opposite genders can be best friends. But then, as they say...friendship is the first step of love. So to be in love at first the boy and the girl needs to be friends, they need to know each other. They need to develop liking for each other. Two people of opposite genders don't usually hang out that much unless they're dating.

Well, I can already predict myself being very, very self-contradictory, but that's because I'm just so confused! The confusion induces from the term "Just friends". Probably it is the cloudiest term in the universe. Truthfully, how do you go from feeling for someone romantically to agreeing wholeheartedly that friendship is the only thing connecting you? The reality is, you don't. Romantic feelings persist; love is the most stubborn kind.

You meet someone. You become friends, you start knowing each other closely. And slowly you develop feelings for her. You go on a few dates. You have long talks and small adventures together. You start to fall for each other. You agree to be exclusive. You learn more and more about each others' lives, and the people in it. And as they say, there is not always a fairytale ending, things fall apart. You part your ways. You decide to remain friends. Time passes. Things change and gets complicated. We learn that the friend has moved to the city for the summer, and they are hanging out, playing music together while you are working. The more you hear about this friend, the more the realization hits you: you are still very much in love with her. You discover that in being in that kind of a relationship, you have actually lost parts of your friendship that you had really enjoyed. In the end, you just wanted to be friends. But ‘because you ended as lovers’, you can never actually go back to the way things used to be.

Known Sky...Unknown Colours!

The wheel of memories keeps spinning, I remember, it was one of those days in Pune, I wrote this fresher’s social welcome speech for the students from Assam...“We step out of our home, to a different city and different way of living, different culture, different language, different food to build our future...to a place unknown, to create our own identity.”

Now that I have stepped out of home again, for a short stint in another city to add more skills to my arsenal, am actually feeling it all over again. Someone rightly said...’Life is a perpetual initiation.’ We never actually reach a destination. So true actually! The same known sky...yet unknown colours!

Leaving home always makes me nostalgic, captured by the moment, in the magic of yesterday. But hope never fades away and the ambitious us makes us embark in new journeys...to new destinations. Living in a world outside home, is like fantasy...but as they say...”it is not what you go out to, it is what brings you back.” Yes, to be home, it’s a different feeling altogether, the way your parent’s eyes glow when they see you back, the care of a concerned sister, friends smiling down on me, giving me their energy, a joyful world around me and the love we share can never, never be taken away from me.

May be I can convince time to fasten up, with Papon Da singing ‘Sandhya Jetiya Name’ in the background, my heart yearns to be back home again, soon, to the wind that makes the tall grass lean and the raindrops that fall, they have a meaning.

An Ode To Music!

The New Year is already a month old. The month of February suddenly turns the year into just another year and there’s this sudden dash of mush into it, no wonder it’s the valentine month. Talking about love, we actually can’t have enough of it till we feel it, but talking about my first love of my life, it has the power to get me weak on my knees or to elate me a euphoric high and everything in between.

Frankly speaking, it cannot be defined. I don’t think we’ll ever be able to define Music. It’s indefinable, it travels, it stirs something within us. It impels us to prominence. It makes a friend out of a stranger. It gives a community culture and identity. Maybe music isn’t just enjoyable and exciting, maybe it is necessary.

Being at the realm of Music, I actually never felt any pain, maybe its magic. Such a healer it is! It’s one craziness, one obsession, one escape I looked up to at many times, and it always looked back at me with the perfect amount of care I needed. There are many times in life when you just wish people would listen, when you know in your heart that you are right, but you just can't get people to see it your way. It is just so frustrating when you can't talk some sense into people. As we grow older, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change . . . its music. Time change, people change, but it doesn’t. I bet you listen to music. Not everyone does. Music is one of the rare things we all have in common.

So as the year turns to another Valentine’s Day for me, without a Valentine I don't consider myself a ‘lonely heart.’ It's about love and this Valentine’s is for my first love…Music!

Through The Wits And Smiles...

Over the last few months I have realised that finding things to write about isn’t as difficult as it’s made out to be, especially irrelevant ones. To write about the year 2010 in a little note, I have to go down memory lane. Things at times were too dark to go alone and perplexingly long too. But at times it was amazingly easy. A year full of fun, thrill, happiness, excitement, association, reunion, creativity along with little bit of the necessary evil s, tears, sadness and dejection.

A year, which converted many social networking friends real ones, re united with many old long lost friends. Enajori.com, a dream so distant yet so close became a part of my life. Thanks to Himjyoti, Auditya, Santanu. New ventures seemed to follow me even to a shop, was offered my first professional photo shoot while buying the camera, without even knowing what functions my camera has. Thanks to all the Folkcult people, for believing in my abilities. People turned from acquaintances to friends, to ‘creative crime partners’, can’t resist mentioning your names, thank u Bhaskar, Bitupon & Shamim, many a times you people made life look so easy. Many a times, you actually made me feel like a ‘Superhero’. Chandralika, Priyankee, Sanghamitra...thank u, for always listening to all my woes with a smile. How can I forget my lazy angels, Alok, Debasish, Debarsish, Kabandi, Pallav, Purabi , Sima, & Sukanya, so lazy they are that they don’t carry their wings. I should not forget AIM, or the AIM Quest Team, one event so special and close to my heart, Himadri for making AIM a part of my life and all the friends I made there. All my Pune friends, especially Debraj, Prachurjya & Nandana, the geographical distance seemed so little every time we had a chat, thank you for being there always. Big thank you to my little friends, ‘bachha party’ as I call them, Darpan, Nayana, Sanskriti for always pepping me up. To all my new friends, a special thank you, for tolerating me, the way I am, yet helping me in the making of a better me.

The year, 2011 is actually almost one month old now (I being so laidback to write), all I would like to say is the 2010 was so wonderful with you people around, I wish the year 2011 be go fast through the evils of tears & negativity (nullify?) to be more happy, more fun & more creative through the wits and smiles...

When A Man Loves A Woman

Sometimes I feel as if I am in an absolutely different element and even when I’m with family and friends, I often feel so out of place. No matter how much of a crowd I am in, I am still alone and yet, it’s the same place that keeps my mind calm in times of sorrow. It’s cold where I am, this perpetual instant of silence in a mirage of serenity. I suppose it’s just like the darkness of outer space and I’m awaiting the sunlight to find its way. This dream of mine begins with a conversation of whispers.

To love a woman is a journey of finding romance, a journey of finding her heart through the simplest of ways. Some people say it’s apparent to find love, but if you allow yourself to believe that love can only exist without limitations, then and only then will you find the way to a woman’s heart because your destination is always to find her heart at the end of each path. As you venture through the walls of her heart, you will find new reason to redefine your definition of what it is to love. Before we fall in love we are able to find comfort in solitude, but when we have finally fallen deep into love, we automatically begin to learn a need that overpowers every character of our being. When you take time to discover her for everything she is, it’s about letting her change you into the man you were always meant to be and allowing yourself to need her in order to become more than who you are.

When you have the want to discover and know her, you will find innocence in her eyes because aside from romance, she’s just so much more than what meets the eye. She’s your best friend, someone to share all your deepest feelings and dreams with because romance is not always the key to finding her heart. It is the ability to warm her heart through other means as your wishes inspire you to make her laugh and cry and dream of many beautiful things. To love a woman is a journey of discovery and if you allow yourself to find innocence in her eyes, you will find beauty in her every movement. It’s about finding beauty within the split of her broken heart, even if she is in a confusion, which makes all the difference in the world because when you acknowledge it’s only her feelings of being in a confusion, you’re also acknowledging that she’s beautiful no matter when, how or where.

Some day, when you find her falling into your arms ever so softly in a moment of weakness, it’s about giving her an ounce of faith, hope or just may be the whole world for moment. Love in its purest form is selfless in every way and it’s about showing her she’s loved and not only that she’s loved by you. Some day, when you come to the realization that her tears are really not tears, but beautiful heart cries instead, that’s when you know you’ve taken the first of many steps in discovering the art of loving a woman and may be it is where I am right now.

If there is a way to reach a woman’s heart without the touch of fingertips, I promise I will find it, even if it takes the deaths of a billion trillion stars, but as of this moment I have to believe this is only a learning process so if that one special girl finally comes along, I will know how to bring joy into her life.

All you people out there in love remember…

“When a man loves a woman

Can't keep his mind on nothin' else

He'd trade the world

For the good thing he's found…

.....................................

When a man loves a woman

Deep down in his soul

She can bring him such misery

If she is playing him for a fool

He's the last one to know

Loving eyes can never see!”

Ain’t No Sunshine Without You!

‘Isn’t a friend a necessity in life? Assume yourself without a true, sincere friend. How would you feel at your college? What about functions, parties? Events especially your birthday. Who will ask you about your worries, who is going to tell you his/her worries?? How you will laugh with a high five, who will tease you pairing with others, who will care, miss and irritate you.’

We can’t pick our family, and we are sorely limited in the number of them. Society and more (and often our own conscience) dictate we select a single mate. But our friends can be as diverse as we decide to choose. Our friends in a very real sense reflect the choice we make in!

Sometimes friendships extend beyond this realm into another world. Do you believe in angels? At times I do believe that there are beings sent from heaven to watch over us. Each and everyday, at every stage of life God sends his angels to guide us, to company us, to pamper us, to push us, to stop us, to inspire us. I don’t expect to see them with wings or with halo flying above their heads. Instead they come in disguise, and they are called friends.

They accept me the way I am, believes in me for what I do, doesn’t give up on me, envision the whole of me, forgive me, help me quit my fears, lift my spirits, understand me, value me, walk by me, explain things that I don’t understand, yell at me when needed.

Friends, am no literary whiz to write great notes about friendship, just on the eve of another ‘Friendship Day’ in our lives, I want to let you people know that because of you life’s been a wonderful expedition, a journey I wish to continue ever and ever with you by my side. Few unwanted gifts of my life, and yet I want to treasure them forever and ever.

Pages Of The Past

“When I was a child I used to run around the butterflies as they flew about collecting nectar…and now as I grew up, I am running after my dreams hoping to see them turn into reality someday”

The voyage started way back in 2002, I left home for Pune. We go out of our home, our own native land…to a place unfamiliar, to make our own self, to stand on our own. We dream, we aspire…we live. Have seen dreams fulfilled, dreams broken. Ever since I landed in Pune, I had a dream…to do a bit for our own people, to build a common platform for them, especially for people living outside their home, to created one place of affinity and global participation for our fellow people. My whole voyage in Pune is something I can’t explain in words, something I’ll value lifelong. Days past, years past…spent as many as 7 years there…but that dream of a common platform of global participation for our fellow people still lingered in my mind. After many unsuccessful attempts, financial hiccups and trusted people who actually didn’t have faith in me…I almost gave up. When I came back home, to look after family business and also start up something on my own…that dream never seemed to leave me. Just waited for the day to get established, to fulfill that dream on my own. Luckily I wasn’t ordained to wait for long…

One fine day it happened! One of my friends suggested me to go through ‘www.enajori.com’. It was like a dream….revived!! Otherwise a very laidback me, promptly wrote a mail to the ‘enajori’ team. And now after 3 months of joining the ‘enajori’ team I proudly say it to be a integral part of my life, for making my distant dream a reality, for giving me exposure and not to forget a ‘friend’ whom I’ll cherish a lifetime.

Thank you Sang, for your suggestion to go through ‘enajori’, thank you to the team, for making me a part of it, thank you Him, for being such a wonderful team member, friend and a constant support. And thank you, all my ‘invisible forces’, my friends…for being there always. The word ‘enajori’ imply...bonding, may my bond with it, its team members and all my friends stay integral, for eternity.

'My Life Musical'

Some people say, am crazy, but yes I can listen to a song in loop uncountable times, just to admire its beauty, and go through a joy ride of emotions. Music is a way of life, expression of life, appearance of life; it is something beyond evaluation, something celestial. Music means something different for everybody.

When I find myself captivated by the first line of a song, I continue on, enjoying the rhythm or structure the author created, and most if the time by the end I am usually completely lost. It’s amazing, the way people throws out random beautiful thoughts and somehow makes it seem like it's all connected together. Music juggles our emotions, takes them to a different level; gives us something to refresh, to push, to hope, and to restart. Music makes us smile, makes us laugh, makes us sing, inspire, enlighten, makes us weep, makes us cry, makes us realize and makes us feel, makes us dance, it makes us relax, and it makes us dream…

Wish life could be one musical. A musical movie may be, furnished with some amazing songs with heart warming music. Wow!! But yes, can’t expect it to be happy and peppy, some sadness and pain are also important. We may call it irony of life, but without all these emotions, we actually can’t signify the value of the opposite emotion. Even then, I would love to select a few songs for my life….’my life musical’! For me, I’ve been traveling through years, in the canvas of these tunes...

Innocence:

Meri Maa (OST Tare Zameen Par, Shankar Mahadevan, Lyrics: Prasoon Joshi)

So innocent and so delicate. This song has the ability to ripple my innocence. I still remember weeping in theatre, the first time I heard it and once while performing it.

Hope/ Dream:

Dil Hi Chota Sa (OST Roja, Minmini, Lyrics: Jagdish Khebudkar)

Have grown up listening to this song. For me it’s one ultimate hope song. Every time I listen, it makes hope, make my dreams takes its flight and comes back to us. Inspires to hope…to dream.

Inspiration:

Ashsaayen (OST Iqbaal, K.K, Lyrics: Irfan Siddique)

A song full of inspiration! Do I need to say more?

Happiness/fun:

Summer of ‘69 (OST Reckless, Bryan Adams, Lyrics: Bryan Adams)

It actually denotes some other meaning and we all know it. But this song has some feel good factor in it, at least for me. The energy makes me happy, a distinct song for happy fun filled moments.

Friendship:

Yeh Dosti (OST Sholay, Kishore Kumar/Manna De, Lyrics: Anand Bakshi)

Do we need not explain a song on friendship?

Love:

Please Forgive Me (OST, Bryan Adams, Lyrics: Bryan Adams)

What pain, what acceptance and what lyrics. Subtle, soothing and yet painful. I think that what love is all about.

Mar Jawaan (OST Fashion, Shruti Pathak, Lyrics: Irfan Siddique, Sandeep Nath)

Maudlin, mushy, raw…yes may be. Heard many people complain about this song for being over emotional. Probably they overlooked the passion, the pain. And what lyrics! Aah! For me this song is an escape to love. I feel soaked in love every time I listen to it.

Pain/ Sadness:

Tere Bina Zindagi Se (OST Andhi, Kishore Kumar/ Lata Mangeshkar, Lyrics: Gulzar)

An amazing composition. The lyrics, the song says it all.

Tu Jaane Na (OST Ajab Prem Ki Gajab Kahani, Sohum, Lyrics: Irshad Kamil)

A fresh just out of the oven song, with touching lyrics. Tale of unrequited or unexpressed love isn’t it?

Life:

Kal Ho Naa Ho (OST KHNH, Sonu Nigam, Lyrics: Javed Akhtar)

Life indeed is a mixture of sunshine & rain, laughter & pleasure, teardrops & pain. The clouds and the sun play hide and seek in the sky, and the emotions play the same part in our life.

Mon Mur (OST Junaki Rati, Angaraag Mahanta, Lyrics: Keshab Mahanta)

Just three words. Mesmerizing, enchanting and refreshing.

Nostalgia:

Sandhya Jetiya Name (OST Junaki Rati, Angaraag Mahanta, Lyrics: Sorot Borkotoky)

Bideshot Apun Manuh (OST Bideshot Apun Manuh, Saju, Lyrics: Jimoni Choudhury)

Nostalgia! Just pure of it, and nothing else. Actually this feeling is something out of the world, no happiness no pain, just pure remembrance.