Sunday, October 24, 2010

Going The Distance

Teri Nigahon Ke

Teri hi Raahon Ke

Kareeb Se Gayee Zindagi

Tujhe Kyon Dekha Na

Tujhe Kyon Jana Na

Shikayatein Karun Ya Nahi

Thami Hai Yeh Saasein

Bhari Hai Yeh Aanhkein

Sahu Kaise Abb Yeh Fasla

Bin Tere Bin Tere Bin Tere

Koi khalish Hai Hawaon Mein Bin Tere

Hardly many of us have listened to this song carefully, as we are more used to the original version of the song ‘Bin Tere’ (OST I Hate Luv Stories), but this reprised version somehow caressed a chord in my heart, kept safe and untouched for sometimes now.

Recently in my inbox, I found an old text message from a very close friend, dated some months back…’if you like her, I beg you to express. Don’t hurt yourself like a fool’. Right she was, probably I should have listened to her. When I look back to the whole episode, what I wonder, is why nothing happened between us? Was it out of my control; that she had no feelings for me, that she wasn't looking for anything, or that she found me out of her reach? Or was it my own fault, that I pushed her away, that I expressed no interest? I feel that she is the biggest missed opportunity of my life.

She is strikingly pretty, graceful, her personality is caring and funny, we relate to extremes, and the list goes on. Mostly I'll blame this one on myself. My friend felt that there was some sort of connection there, that she must like me. But for some reason, I didn't want it. I didn't want any of it. I look back, and I'm honestly not entirely sure why. I was not totally out of it, may be had a semi-interest at that time. I also wasn't really looking to get into a relationship after many unsuccessful attempts to impress someone unfeasible. For some reason, I truly wasn't interested, but I can't seem to understand why.

But as fate has it, the timing wasn't right anyway. And maybe, she wasn't even interested in the first place. Who knows? Or may be because I feel my world is beautiful in blur again.