Bare Beginnings II

Seems it’s been a while I was here! Feels good though. Same old me with some new escapades. I was not lost but then I didn’t get the chance to venture into one of my favourite escapes. Don’t know where to start and what to write as my mind is going through a myriad range of emotions. But yes, there are lot’s of things to write and I shall again head to this escape of mine, soon! For everything else, there is Himalayas. 

Last few days have been emotionally grinding or rather drenching. I was hoping to start the new year on a happy note, just like the way I have been since last 6 years. I remember, 2011 was one year I wanted to get rid of in hurry. It came with a lot’s of hiccups but then it gave me many savouring memories as well. Last 5 years been very rewarding though (I shall come back soon to reveal some tiny details about them). But then yes, 2017 so far has tested my patience like never before but at the same time, taking all the positives out of it, I stand here…Upbeat! Spirited!

Just to kick start and break the shackles I’m jotting down these words. 2011 to 2016 to 2017 …it’s been a great transition. Let me tell you a few things that inspired this journey but with a warning that I can draw inspiration from tiniest or strangest of things and I am glad, I can. 

July 2011, it was the beginning of my fightback as I saw a struggling Indian Cricket Team going down. What inspired me there was a gentleman named Rahul Dravid who stood still in between all the ruins and defied defeat as long as possible. Talk about patience, perseverance and focus or may be poise, grace and determination? Talk about this man. I knew I could never replicate his cricketing talent or feats but I also knew what I could learn from him. 

August 2011, Jill! Her arrival changed many things as I found a new meaning of the word Zeal. 

November 2011, the Movie Rock Star and it’s Music. I was reading an interview by A.R. Rahman where he mentioned how he struggled to get the Music right as it had a lot of pain involved. It was about how he drenched himself emotionally to get the Music right. Talk about passion? Then talk about this man. Ever since it’s been ‘Sadda Haq Aithe Rakh’ and ‘Nadan Parinde’. 

December 2011, another incident of Indian Test Team struggling. This time it was Australia. India lost 0-4 and ended the year 0-8. What was positive there was a man named Mahendra Singh Dhoni. Talk about staying calm, staying composed and dealing all the pressure of a losing team and being aggressive? Talk about this man. He’s someone very contemporary, yet I look upto him for being level headed and witty at the same time. 

Probably all these won’t make any sense to many of us, but then I think a few would take the positives out of this just like I did. The journey of last 5 years have been very intriguing also very very struggling at times. It’s not so easy to be 'Arpan' (A few would surely understand what I mean here). 

Today as I start 2017 on a happy note, I would like to thank every person I’ve come across, the good, the bad and the ugly, the old and the new ones. Also the ones who came with vested benefits and the ones who came and stayed back forever. Thanks to every organisation I have been a part of, Enajori, Metropolis, Photography Club of Assam, WildTrail for being the integral part of this journey. I must mention, Muse & Memories, my teammates both past and present, it’s because of you all MnM is spreading happiness today. Keep shining in all you do. 

As I promise to keep coming back to write a few (mis)adventures, I hope that the days to follow will have bright lights ahead and life will keep smiling at us in all we do and deserve, here’s to a Happy 2017. 

Unleash! Let’s celebrate all we have and say yes to ‘Life’! 

...onset of a story

They say each friend represents a world in us! A statement we all can vow for and have experienced throughout our lives. Little did we knew this the first time we four met, that someday we all will be a part of something that will be probably a topic of mass affection, love and discussion ( for good reasons of course).  And as every story has a story behind it, here is my part of the story...

When we met for the first time, all we had in common is the passion for photography and the hunger to make it bigger. And what we had uncommon was lot’s of if’s and buts’, different backgrounds and different genres (of photography). I clearly remember the conversation I had with Nandini during the Wall Art Project for Metropolis’13. We had a deal, that if I get any Fashion related query I shall forward it to her and if she gets any Travel related query she will forward it to me.

Then a few things happened coincidentally. A friend calling me from Delhi to ask about a good Wedding Photographer in Guwahati, Nandini uploading photographs of a wedding they were covering in Golaghat at the same time, and that smile saying, aah! My friends (acquaintance then) are so talented and the lazy me deciding right then to meet up, discuss and plan if we can do something together. By then it was in first week of February ’13. Soon, three of us met (Me, Rejaul, Nandini) and tried to decide on something, Rj (our little Rup) entered the scene but one question still remained, what we are going to do. One thing we were sure that it is going to be something with photography, but what? Again four different people, different genres and one common passion! Photography? Ok, Final! What next? Who will do what? If Nandini, Rejaul and Rj are comfortable shooting people, or with people around, I prefer shooting in a calm environment. So? Finally we zeroed into a plan. Nandini will shoot Fashion & Wedding. Rejaul will shoot Wedding and Concerts. Rj will shoot Wedding. I will shoot Products and Concerts.

Next Step! Probably the most rigorous phase of this story! What will be the name? We tried to search small words, to be paired as two which will be easy to remember and have resemblance with what we do. Many words were taken into account, but again the fact that four us will work in different genres made our task quite tough. Finally we zeroed into the words Muse & Memories for it being easy to remember, easy to pronounce (ask us how tough it is!) and for both the words having relevance with our work.  If the word ‘Muse’ would reflect something that we want to ponder or that would reflect on something we do, then every wedding, fashion portfolio, product or concert we will shoot,  will be our muse, the word ‘Memories’ would always keep people feel special with the memoirs they have with them as photographs.

Then came the moment of creating the identity! It all happened suddenly, in the evening we finalised the name, and by night I created logo options. And by next evening we finalised and agreed to disagree that we will have two logos, as two of us liked one and other two liked the other one. That was the inception of Muse & Memories. And the rest is a fairytale!

The making of Muse & Memories was one fun part, we agreed, we disagreed, we agreed to disagree and vice versa. We still do, at times we are so rigid and times soft. We fight with each other, we fight for each other. We laugh, we cry together and most of all we love and celebrate what we are and what we do. From the very first like on our page to the 6000^th (probably we already have added many more till now and we want it to keep adding), every single like means a lot. Every single message we got from you, every call we received; every smile we could feel when we say, “yes! we are available.” or every disappointment you have shown when we say, “sorry! we are booked.”, made our journey so unforgettable. The journey started by we four, is today companioned by a 6000 plus more.

And as we turn One today, thank you for the warmth and love you have shared back. Thank you for believing in us, for making us a part of your life, your memories and Thank you for making us, Muse & Memories, what we are today. So, we Dream On and wish to continue what we love to do, creating memories and spreading smiles the Muse & Memories way! 

The Big Leap!

Questions!!! Questions I ask myself, questions others make me think about.

Am I Good? Am I Bad? Is my work hated? Is my work loved?

It’s obvious; we try to imitate others, whoever they are. We fear elimination, we also fear being mocked. Definitely, may be, the scariest thing in the world, is to love yourself; to believe enough in who you are to stand tall and proud and to tell the world, 'hey, this is who I am’.

They say, ‘Hold the vision, Trust the process!’ and while all these apprehensions tried to cloud my mind, I silently kept pushing myself, to my own limits. Then came the time for the big leap and back were the questions. Am I good enough? Am I ready? Being me, even though I kept my calm, I also wanted the answer. The big leap should be big enough and also timely. The brainstorming during this phase was actually more mind-numbing than walking in the wild with the backpack. But then, I came out smiling, well I don’t know, its strange feeling. It’s that happy feeling which will not let me sleep; will not calculate my dreams and won’t let me limit myself. This feeling is something that will linger with me for a long long time.

And while I celebrate this little success of mine, I also want to make sure to thank each and everyone who made this journey wonderful. Yes, I’m no celebrity and neither I have a podium for a speech, all I have is a heart filled with gratitude and a promise to be better in due time. Though a plain ‘thank you’ is not enough, am honoured to be blessed with the best bunch of people.

Probably I’ll play safe here and won’t mention names; you people anyways know whom I mean. Firstly, thank you almighty, for the wonderful gift of nature and for blessing me with my best bunch. This is for you my little angels, Jill, Mamunu, Pakhi, Barbie, Buki, Suki, Tora and Jiya for being my dream catchers, for I could look up to you, smile and set sail for new dream. Dita, Maa, Baa, Sasanka Da for all your love and support, for never stopping me from going to any trip and for always welcoming me home with a smile and the eagerness to see what I was up to. Also sorry, for the all your altered plans because of my travel schedules. Cousins, Family Members, thank you for being there and also understanding my absence during family functions! For you, friends in Pune, who made this effort more winning, it was because of you all, everything went so smoothly. Each and every one of my Pune friends, roommates, seniors, juniors, I wish you all were there. Pune was not the same without you people around. For you, my school friends, where ever you are. For you friends in Assam and other parts of North East, friends in Delhi (East, West, North, South, Gurgaon, and Noida), Bangalore, Kolkata, Mumbai and every other part of India, friends in US, UK, UAE, Singapore and everywhere else. Thank you for your companionship, your stamina, your wisdom and the smiles, delivered right at the doorstep. Thank you everyone in the photography fraternity, elders, friends and young ones, for all those awe inspiring clicks of yours. For you, my partners in creative crime, for all the fun time, it’s actually fun to commit those crimes with you guys around. My gang, as I call it, thank you for always egging me up, for all the love, and sorry for you had to face the wrath of seeing every click, and to answer stupid options I used (which I will continue)  to give for selecting photographs. And off course, my ‘Bachha Party’, thank you for all the liveliness, the love you spread around. For all my critique, without your valuable words, my work would have been incomplete, thank you! And last (also the least), big thank you to all you people (you know whom I mean) out there, (I know, am not meant to say negative things here), this is for you, for all your mockeries, for all your behind the back discussions, and for your belief that I’m actually nothing. I won’t claim, I’m the best, but yes, I’m something.

Thanks are in order, thank you everyone who flocked in to the exhibition, everyone who couldn’t coz of geographical limitations, everyone who stayed glued for the tiniest update, everyone in the media, everyone at Grubshup, for making things so comfortable. Thank you everyone for making this journey of last one and half year so memorable. While the feeling of contentment refuses to fade away and I’m almost about to leave for my next voyage, take a bow! 

Citing Sublimity!

Singing, working, walking, dreaming, laughing, learning! Life is always about running madly, in a crowded schedule, into a confined enclosure.

Everyone sees, whom I appear to be, but only an odd few know the real me. Everyone see only what I choose to show.  There’s so much into my life, where I celebrate me, a world, far from the madding crowd, far from the stardom. Only a few friends, conversations and lot’s of untold fables.

The Unnoticed Tales!

Study while others are sleeping, work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing ~~ William Arthur Ward

The after effects of the year 2011 are yet to fade. I waited and waited long for that ripple, that little shift that would help me get back on track. And one fine day, when this opportunity knocked I actually had that apprehension whether I could do justice to the task I’m assigned. For a social animal like me, it was tough to stay away from any public appearance for 3 months. Karbi Youth Festival turned out to be a life changing experience for me. When I was asked to join the team as one of the official photographers I was both excited and nervous at the same time. Only thing that came to my mind is, I need to do well, if not for me, then for the people who wants me to do good. And to my awe, I actually did a good job. And as I am no celebrity, I don’t have a podium to address a crowd and thank the people who stood by me, all I would like to say is my world is a beautiful place because of you all, only a mere ‘thank you’ is not enough to express what you people mean to me. I won’t say this is the best I can do, but with you people around I can always compete myself.  One unnoticed tale of my life and I vow, it won’t go unnoticed.

This is for you Santanu, Kasturi, Angana, for being there during tough times. I still remember the day when I dropped my camera and every word you said to make me calm down, remember how you people pepped me up saying positive things. Santa, I wish you were there beside me clicking all those amazing memories. Kastu, Angu...I have no words to appreciate the angelic ways you cared for me.  This is for you Ranjan, for believing in my abilities and going ahead with my plans. Together we’ll weave many more dreams. This is for you Him, for being there always in your own ways. This is for you Audi, I still remember that chat we had at the Brahmaputra riverside and you were so clear always that you wanted me back on track. For you Achyut, while you are busy thanking others for liking your work, I thank you for all those inspiring clicks of yours. For you Jumi, for all those awe inspiring chats we had. For you Kaku, for you always wanted the smiling me back, and here I am. Remember, you promised a photo shoot of you and Jiya. For you Sima, situations made me so reluctant of making any public appearance that I missed your Big Day. I can’t compensate for that, but then I know, you would understand my plea. For you Alok, Pallav... many things would not have been possible without you two around. For you Kulajit, Krishanu, Bhavita, Sakshi, Shweta and Kalyan. I remember Kalyan saying, “naya chonga (lens) liya hain, agar photo kharab ayaa, toh chonga le lunga.” For you my partners in creative crimes Rassmin Da, Bhaskar, Bitupon, Sudipto, Sweta. For you Palki, Pallavi, Pallabi(Maina) for always inducting the faith in me, for being tough when I was stupid and for all the care you have shown. For you Jipi, Liza...for I can always look up to you and you whisper the reality to me. For you Yashomana, for all those did you get my mail? Did you check the photos? Are they good? And for always coming up with an inspiring reply. For you Pallabi (Siku), for all the fables and conversations. I can’t hate destiny more for allowing me to spend so less time with you ‘soul sister’.

...and to all of u people who loved my work, inspired me and also criticised me when needed! You people make me what I am.

Of A Delight And Missing It!

“Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here!”  ~~ A Dumbledore

Power? Checked! Cable? Checked! Instruments? Checked! Sound? Checked! Monitor? Checked! 1, 2, 3 ...Go!

How can I forget this journey, we started at count 3? Despite all the hiccups, technical or human faults it was always fun and memorable. It is magic, it is celestial! It’s beyond what we humans do. It’s timeless, it’s endless and it’s immortal.

For me, it’s a delight. I always loved being there, whenever I got a chance.  I relish being on board. I somehow felt that divine intervention. So much so that I don’t even remember being nervous. Yes, that adrenaline rush was always there, but I never panicked, even if I was half prepared for a show. I was always the first one to get into the stage and the last one to leave.

Just prior to that journey, we all belonged to a different world. A world very few people have seen. Green Room! One can see various kinds of people there. Someone praying, someone silent, someone cribbing, someone shouting, someone babbling, someone nervous, someone panicking, someone visiting the washroom every now and then, someone checking his dress and someone like me, pepping up everyone. It is a world different from anything else.

I cannot talk enough about our families, teachers, mentors who made us, what we are as musicians! Someone came from a musical background, someone’s family was not supportive, someone rich, someone poor, someone didn’t tell their parents, someone was ill; someone had a fight with girlfriend. It was an amalgamation of myriad backgrounds and emotions. But on board, we felt only one feeling. That is Music! It’s like the same blood running through our veins; we spoke, played, and enjoyed the same universal language.

As I stand here today, all I want to put across is the remarkable journey I travelled with music. I miss being at the realm with it. I miss the animated me, who always used to pep up others, the excitement which used to begin right from the practice session to the show and to the time beyond, I miss the winks, the grins, the smirks we used to give other on stage, I miss the pranks we played live, I miss the way we used to complement each other for each mistakes we made, I miss playing with those mystical mesmerizing voices and the not so mesmerizing voices, I miss that huddle where we used to pep up the nervous ones, I miss those gaze we gave each other on stage when someone was not so confident, miss the feeling when power or instruments go off, miss those electric shocks, miss the transition of emotion the mind goes through with each song, miss the euphoria involved in it, miss the bite of the tongue for every time I made a mistake or missed a beat ,  miss the chanting crowd, miss the adrenaline just before going in, miss the whole overall setting of one of the most worthwhile things I have ever been a small part of.

And I miss that never fading feeling of satisfaction...silence everywhere. And the loud buzzing sound inside my head since I left the stage. That happy feeling which did not let me sleep, did not calculate my dreams, and did not let limit myself.

Known Sky...Unknown Colours!

The wheel of memories keeps spinning, I remember, it was one of those days in Pune, I wrote this fresher’s social welcome speech for the students from Assam...“We step out of our home, to a different city and different way of living, different culture, different language, different food to build our future...to a place unknown, to create our own identity.”

Now that I have stepped out of home again, for a short stint in another city to add more skills to my arsenal, am actually feeling it all over again. Someone rightly said...’Life is a perpetual initiation.’ We never actually reach a destination. So true actually! The same known sky...yet unknown colours!

Leaving home always makes me nostalgic, captured by the moment, in the magic of yesterday. But hope never fades away and the ambitious us makes us embark in new journeys...to new destinations. Living in a world outside home, is like fantasy...but as they say...”it is not what you go out to, it is what brings you back.” Yes, to be home, it’s a different feeling altogether, the way your parent’s eyes glow when they see you back, the care of a concerned sister, friends smiling down on me, giving me their energy, a joyful world around me and the love we share can never, never be taken away from me.

May be I can convince time to fasten up, with Papon Da singing ‘Sandhya Jetiya Name’ in the background, my heart yearns to be back home again, soon, to the wind that makes the tall grass lean and the raindrops that fall, they have a meaning.

Through The Wits And Smiles...

Over the last few months I have realised that finding things to write about isn’t as difficult as it’s made out to be, especially irrelevant ones. To write about the year 2010 in a little note, I have to go down memory lane. Things at times were too dark to go alone and perplexingly long too. But at times it was amazingly easy. A year full of fun, thrill, happiness, excitement, association, reunion, creativity along with little bit of the necessary evil s, tears, sadness and dejection.

A year, which converted many social networking friends real ones, re united with many old long lost friends. Enajori.com, a dream so distant yet so close became a part of my life. Thanks to Himjyoti, Auditya, Santanu. New ventures seemed to follow me even to a shop, was offered my first professional photo shoot while buying the camera, without even knowing what functions my camera has. Thanks to all the Folkcult people, for believing in my abilities. People turned from acquaintances to friends, to ‘creative crime partners’, can’t resist mentioning your names, thank u Bhaskar, Bitupon & Shamim, many a times you people made life look so easy. Many a times, you actually made me feel like a ‘Superhero’. Chandralika, Priyankee, Sanghamitra...thank u, for always listening to all my woes with a smile. How can I forget my lazy angels, Alok, Debasish, Debarsish, Kabandi, Pallav, Purabi , Sima, & Sukanya, so lazy they are that they don’t carry their wings. I should not forget AIM, or the AIM Quest Team, one event so special and close to my heart, Himadri for making AIM a part of my life and all the friends I made there. All my Pune friends, especially Debraj, Prachurjya & Nandana, the geographical distance seemed so little every time we had a chat, thank you for being there always. Big thank you to my little friends, ‘bachha party’ as I call them, Darpan, Nayana, Sanskriti for always pepping me up. To all my new friends, a special thank you, for tolerating me, the way I am, yet helping me in the making of a better me.

The year, 2011 is actually almost one month old now (I being so laidback to write), all I would like to say is the 2010 was so wonderful with you people around, I wish the year 2011 be go fast through the evils of tears & negativity (nullify?) to be more happy, more fun & more creative through the wits and smiles...

Pages Of The Past

“When I was a child I used to run around the butterflies as they flew about collecting nectar…and now as I grew up, I am running after my dreams hoping to see them turn into reality someday”

The voyage started way back in 2002, I left home for Pune. We go out of our home, our own native land…to a place unfamiliar, to make our own self, to stand on our own. We dream, we aspire…we live. Have seen dreams fulfilled, dreams broken. Ever since I landed in Pune, I had a dream…to do a bit for our own people, to build a common platform for them, especially for people living outside their home, to created one place of affinity and global participation for our fellow people. My whole voyage in Pune is something I can’t explain in words, something I’ll value lifelong. Days past, years past…spent as many as 7 years there…but that dream of a common platform of global participation for our fellow people still lingered in my mind. After many unsuccessful attempts, financial hiccups and trusted people who actually didn’t have faith in me…I almost gave up. When I came back home, to look after family business and also start up something on my own…that dream never seemed to leave me. Just waited for the day to get established, to fulfill that dream on my own. Luckily I wasn’t ordained to wait for long…

One fine day it happened! One of my friends suggested me to go through ‘www.enajori.com’. It was like a dream….revived!! Otherwise a very laidback me, promptly wrote a mail to the ‘enajori’ team. And now after 3 months of joining the ‘enajori’ team I proudly say it to be a integral part of my life, for making my distant dream a reality, for giving me exposure and not to forget a ‘friend’ whom I’ll cherish a lifetime.

Thank you Sang, for your suggestion to go through ‘enajori’, thank you to the team, for making me a part of it, thank you Him, for being such a wonderful team member, friend and a constant support. And thank you, all my ‘invisible forces’, my friends…for being there always. The word ‘enajori’ imply...bonding, may my bond with it, its team members and all my friends stay integral, for eternity.

Hope Springs!

“If you can look at the sunset and smile, then you still have hope. If you can see the good in other people, then you still have hope. If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism, then you still have hope. If you give people the benefit of the doubt, then you still have hope. If the suffering in others still fills you with pain, then you still have hope. If you still watch love stories or want endings to be happy, then you still have hope. If you can look at the past and smile, then you still have hope. If, when faced with bad and told everything is futile, you can still look up at the end of the conversation and say "yeah, but..." then you still have so much hope. If you still offer your hand of friendship to those who have touched your life, then you still have hope. If you refuse to let a friendship die or accept that it must end, then you, very much, still have hope.”

Hope…It’s a tiny little thing that can make the biggest difference, and you won’t even know it. It is indeed a sweet word. It makes us dream, makes us long, gives us zeal, gives us courage and keeps us motivated…our dreams reciprocates to hope. Dreams may be unfulfilled but hope always keeps them alive, if one dream stops, hope leads us to another.

Life, at times…becomes chaotic, becomes hard, becomes discouraging, becomes lonely, and becomes frustrating. The limitations in us are created by us…the more we hope, the more we dream, more we represent our own being. We may have been subject to some disappointments, but all we need to do is hope and take action. We are more likely to get results from ourselves than from other people. It's no certainty that someone's going to always be there to pick us up; at times we need to do it our self. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

Most of the time, we try and try and at the end we let go. The fall is always beautiful. It confers a sense of comprehension, accompanied by an appalling sense of sinking. We lose the will to breathe, the persuasion to open our mouth wide, wide enough to admit the freezing panic that will certainly drown us.

All I would like to say is always keep hoping for the good, as the Chinese say, keep a green tree in your heart, the singing bird will surely come! It’s never late or early…all we need is to hope. And the choice is always ours.

Paper Planes !!!

Dreams… are the window through which we look at our life, they lead us to things we always wanted, and their fulfillment makes us happy. When we want something we immediately start making plans to get to it, the permutations and combination's. Our mind juggles through the options we have…and takes the flight to the target almost spontaneously. Yes, our minds are so sensitive that they tend to make ‘paper planes’ every now and than, it takes off immediately and reaches the destination before we actually do or sometimes we don’t even get near.

Recently while going through the lyrics of a song, I came across these lines…

I fly like paper; get high like planes
I get one down in a second if you wait…

So true and so close to our lives. It’s not always that our flight from dream to reality reaches the destination we always wished for…sometimes it is buried young; sometimes we don’t get what we desire.

Dreams or may be aspirations give a path to our life, a much needed direction to it. It is always risky to explore the unknown, but may be we risk more by backing up. We never know what is waiting for us in the very next step, true sometimes it may be painful, sometimes joyful but may be sometimes we find our self with a better result. Pitiful is the person who is anxious of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow.

So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

We generate our own environment. We get exactly what we deserve. How can we resent a life we've created ourselves? Who's to blame, who's to credit but us? Who can change it, anytime we wish, but us? In life we can have results or reasons. If we are not getting the results we want, our reasons are the lies that we keep telling our self.

Someone said, “Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree…Some of them wanted to use you, some of them want to be used by you. Some of them want to abuse you; some of them want to be abused.”

When you want what your heart desires, what do you do? 'Coz you can't imagine of anything else that feels right! And yet it's very subtle.

May be we should let the fears go, embrace it all for what it is, and make a silent prayer that the dream is as much yours, as you are the dreams'.