Bare Beginnings II

Seems it’s been a while I was here! Feels good though. Same old me with some new escapades. I was not lost but then I didn’t get the chance to venture into one of my favourite escapes. Don’t know where to start and what to write as my mind is going through a myriad range of emotions. But yes, there are lot’s of things to write and I shall again head to this escape of mine, soon! For everything else, there is Himalayas. 

Last few days have been emotionally grinding or rather drenching. I was hoping to start the new year on a happy note, just like the way I have been since last 6 years. I remember, 2011 was one year I wanted to get rid of in hurry. It came with a lot’s of hiccups but then it gave me many savouring memories as well. Last 5 years been very rewarding though (I shall come back soon to reveal some tiny details about them). But then yes, 2017 so far has tested my patience like never before but at the same time, taking all the positives out of it, I stand here…Upbeat! Spirited!

Just to kick start and break the shackles I’m jotting down these words. 2011 to 2016 to 2017 …it’s been a great transition. Let me tell you a few things that inspired this journey but with a warning that I can draw inspiration from tiniest or strangest of things and I am glad, I can. 

July 2011, it was the beginning of my fightback as I saw a struggling Indian Cricket Team going down. What inspired me there was a gentleman named Rahul Dravid who stood still in between all the ruins and defied defeat as long as possible. Talk about patience, perseverance and focus or may be poise, grace and determination? Talk about this man. I knew I could never replicate his cricketing talent or feats but I also knew what I could learn from him. 

August 2011, Jill! Her arrival changed many things as I found a new meaning of the word Zeal. 

November 2011, the Movie Rock Star and it’s Music. I was reading an interview by A.R. Rahman where he mentioned how he struggled to get the Music right as it had a lot of pain involved. It was about how he drenched himself emotionally to get the Music right. Talk about passion? Then talk about this man. Ever since it’s been ‘Sadda Haq Aithe Rakh’ and ‘Nadan Parinde’. 

December 2011, another incident of Indian Test Team struggling. This time it was Australia. India lost 0-4 and ended the year 0-8. What was positive there was a man named Mahendra Singh Dhoni. Talk about staying calm, staying composed and dealing all the pressure of a losing team and being aggressive? Talk about this man. He’s someone very contemporary, yet I look upto him for being level headed and witty at the same time. 

Probably all these won’t make any sense to many of us, but then I think a few would take the positives out of this just like I did. The journey of last 5 years have been very intriguing also very very struggling at times. It’s not so easy to be 'Arpan' (A few would surely understand what I mean here). 

Today as I start 2017 on a happy note, I would like to thank every person I’ve come across, the good, the bad and the ugly, the old and the new ones. Also the ones who came with vested benefits and the ones who came and stayed back forever. Thanks to every organisation I have been a part of, Enajori, Metropolis, Photography Club of Assam, WildTrail for being the integral part of this journey. I must mention, Muse & Memories, my teammates both past and present, it’s because of you all MnM is spreading happiness today. Keep shining in all you do. 

As I promise to keep coming back to write a few (mis)adventures, I hope that the days to follow will have bright lights ahead and life will keep smiling at us in all we do and deserve, here’s to a Happy 2017. 

Unleash! Let’s celebrate all we have and say yes to ‘Life’! 

The Big Leap!

Questions!!! Questions I ask myself, questions others make me think about.

Am I Good? Am I Bad? Is my work hated? Is my work loved?

It’s obvious; we try to imitate others, whoever they are. We fear elimination, we also fear being mocked. Definitely, may be, the scariest thing in the world, is to love yourself; to believe enough in who you are to stand tall and proud and to tell the world, 'hey, this is who I am’.

They say, ‘Hold the vision, Trust the process!’ and while all these apprehensions tried to cloud my mind, I silently kept pushing myself, to my own limits. Then came the time for the big leap and back were the questions. Am I good enough? Am I ready? Being me, even though I kept my calm, I also wanted the answer. The big leap should be big enough and also timely. The brainstorming during this phase was actually more mind-numbing than walking in the wild with the backpack. But then, I came out smiling, well I don’t know, its strange feeling. It’s that happy feeling which will not let me sleep; will not calculate my dreams and won’t let me limit myself. This feeling is something that will linger with me for a long long time.

And while I celebrate this little success of mine, I also want to make sure to thank each and everyone who made this journey wonderful. Yes, I’m no celebrity and neither I have a podium for a speech, all I have is a heart filled with gratitude and a promise to be better in due time. Though a plain ‘thank you’ is not enough, am honoured to be blessed with the best bunch of people.

Probably I’ll play safe here and won’t mention names; you people anyways know whom I mean. Firstly, thank you almighty, for the wonderful gift of nature and for blessing me with my best bunch. This is for you my little angels, Jill, Mamunu, Pakhi, Barbie, Buki, Suki, Tora and Jiya for being my dream catchers, for I could look up to you, smile and set sail for new dream. Dita, Maa, Baa, Sasanka Da for all your love and support, for never stopping me from going to any trip and for always welcoming me home with a smile and the eagerness to see what I was up to. Also sorry, for the all your altered plans because of my travel schedules. Cousins, Family Members, thank you for being there and also understanding my absence during family functions! For you, friends in Pune, who made this effort more winning, it was because of you all, everything went so smoothly. Each and every one of my Pune friends, roommates, seniors, juniors, I wish you all were there. Pune was not the same without you people around. For you, my school friends, where ever you are. For you friends in Assam and other parts of North East, friends in Delhi (East, West, North, South, Gurgaon, and Noida), Bangalore, Kolkata, Mumbai and every other part of India, friends in US, UK, UAE, Singapore and everywhere else. Thank you for your companionship, your stamina, your wisdom and the smiles, delivered right at the doorstep. Thank you everyone in the photography fraternity, elders, friends and young ones, for all those awe inspiring clicks of yours. For you, my partners in creative crime, for all the fun time, it’s actually fun to commit those crimes with you guys around. My gang, as I call it, thank you for always egging me up, for all the love, and sorry for you had to face the wrath of seeing every click, and to answer stupid options I used (which I will continue)  to give for selecting photographs. And off course, my ‘Bachha Party’, thank you for all the liveliness, the love you spread around. For all my critique, without your valuable words, my work would have been incomplete, thank you! And last (also the least), big thank you to all you people (you know whom I mean) out there, (I know, am not meant to say negative things here), this is for you, for all your mockeries, for all your behind the back discussions, and for your belief that I’m actually nothing. I won’t claim, I’m the best, but yes, I’m something.

Thanks are in order, thank you everyone who flocked in to the exhibition, everyone who couldn’t coz of geographical limitations, everyone who stayed glued for the tiniest update, everyone in the media, everyone at Grubshup, for making things so comfortable. Thank you everyone for making this journey of last one and half year so memorable. While the feeling of contentment refuses to fade away and I’m almost about to leave for my next voyage, take a bow! 

Mud and Glory

So the first quarter of the year 2012 is already gone, and as usual I’m not up to the promise I made myself, that I’ll make sure to write at least a note every month. Finally it’s time to jot down what made my 2011 memorable and not so memorable.

Oh!! What a roller coaster ride it was! Another year is gone by in a whim. It is actually amazing, to see where life makes you stand at different times, seems like sci-fi movie. In a moment you are here, in a moment you are gone. It takes a fraction of a second to turn super zero from super hero. So much so like our Indian Cricket Team. We bleed blue, when they brought the World Cup home, and when they toured England/Australia and lost, it was again the same us, who wrote them down. It is indeed the sarcasm of human life, Mud and Glory; both are integral and corresponding part of our life. The year 2011 was more of low than the high. At times life appeared to be so empty, I’ve learned how it feels to hit rock bottom and still push hard to survive. As if life is a patch of quicksand, the more I tried to come out, and the more it gulped me in. Time, things, people never seemed to be cascading. Thoughts strayed, questions unanswered.

But consequently, there is also a good side of it. May be not in the best order, but things happened.

There are many people I need to thank for last year’s journey, without you people around it would have been more uneven.

Thank you Kulajit, Krishanu, Bhabita, Shweta, Sakshi & Kalyan. Minutes turned into hours, and hours into day, days into month. Never knew, time could fly so fast. Courtesy you people! Leg pulling sessions, movies and off course a thousand unexecuted plans became part of life. Thank you Kasturi, Santanu, Angana, Kalyan, Achyut, Kaku, Himjyoti, Maina Da. All the rooftop parties, the conversations, the cooking sessions, the laugh riot, pranks, photo sessions made my Delhi stay real special. Jumi, Audi your presence was royally missed. Love you all! Thank you Jiya. Can’t thank and love you enough angel, surely you are one. It was only after talking to you; I could complete my project on the stipulated timeline.  Wish I could spend more time with you. Thank you Mukuta. For being the silence on my bad days and my raving fan on my good days. Thank you Tusti. Loved calling you ‘Puwali’ and glad to see you grow up, also learned that I should not hide behind my smile often. Thank you Sneha. Tikli, that’s what I call you. But most of the time, it was you, who guided me like an elder sis. Thank you for being the illumination whenever I needed. Thank you Pallabi for making me believe that I could tell stories that people would want to hear. My creativity may have strayed, but at least the writer in me is still on pursuit. Thank you Pallavi for all the pep talk, food talk, unending chats, laugh riot and off course the odd tough words to push me forward. Thank you Alok, Anannya, Debasish, Debarsish, Liza, Jipi, Sima, Mitu, Pallav, Siba, Sang, Plabita, Palki, Bhaskar, Bitupon, Shamim, Sweta. Can’t thank you enough my lazy angels, my punching bags and what not. You people always let me see myself through you. Loved looking back at you. Thank you Baa, for blessing us with Jill. It’s amazing to see you taking care of your bundle of joy with so much love and care. Thank you Ritu. For all the support and encouragement, because of you DEF happened to me. How can I forget my ‘Baccha Party’! Thank you Babu, Bablu, Nayana, Sanskriti, Abhinab, Augustya, Nandita & Gargee. You people never failed to make me feel young. Loved being your cook.

Under the circumstances, best wishes hardly seem enough. Thanks are in order. Thank you for your companionship, for your stamina, your wisdom, and a hundred and one laughs. I also enjoyed looking back at you and your shining face.

Never was so excited to let go something. 2011, now that you are finally gone, along with all the hiccups, you also gave some savouring memories. Hope the days to follow will have bright lights ahead and life will keep smiling at us in all we do and deserve. Grateful for my family, for my true friends and for all the love I receive. So much more than I deserve, or can ever repay. Happy 2012.

Of A Delight And Missing It!

“Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here!”  ~~ A Dumbledore

Power? Checked! Cable? Checked! Instruments? Checked! Sound? Checked! Monitor? Checked! 1, 2, 3 ...Go!

How can I forget this journey, we started at count 3? Despite all the hiccups, technical or human faults it was always fun and memorable. It is magic, it is celestial! It’s beyond what we humans do. It’s timeless, it’s endless and it’s immortal.

For me, it’s a delight. I always loved being there, whenever I got a chance.  I relish being on board. I somehow felt that divine intervention. So much so that I don’t even remember being nervous. Yes, that adrenaline rush was always there, but I never panicked, even if I was half prepared for a show. I was always the first one to get into the stage and the last one to leave.

Just prior to that journey, we all belonged to a different world. A world very few people have seen. Green Room! One can see various kinds of people there. Someone praying, someone silent, someone cribbing, someone shouting, someone babbling, someone nervous, someone panicking, someone visiting the washroom every now and then, someone checking his dress and someone like me, pepping up everyone. It is a world different from anything else.

I cannot talk enough about our families, teachers, mentors who made us, what we are as musicians! Someone came from a musical background, someone’s family was not supportive, someone rich, someone poor, someone didn’t tell their parents, someone was ill; someone had a fight with girlfriend. It was an amalgamation of myriad backgrounds and emotions. But on board, we felt only one feeling. That is Music! It’s like the same blood running through our veins; we spoke, played, and enjoyed the same universal language.

As I stand here today, all I want to put across is the remarkable journey I travelled with music. I miss being at the realm with it. I miss the animated me, who always used to pep up others, the excitement which used to begin right from the practice session to the show and to the time beyond, I miss the winks, the grins, the smirks we used to give other on stage, I miss the pranks we played live, I miss the way we used to complement each other for each mistakes we made, I miss playing with those mystical mesmerizing voices and the not so mesmerizing voices, I miss that huddle where we used to pep up the nervous ones, I miss those gaze we gave each other on stage when someone was not so confident, miss the feeling when power or instruments go off, miss those electric shocks, miss the transition of emotion the mind goes through with each song, miss the euphoria involved in it, miss the bite of the tongue for every time I made a mistake or missed a beat ,  miss the chanting crowd, miss the adrenaline just before going in, miss the whole overall setting of one of the most worthwhile things I have ever been a small part of.

And I miss that never fading feeling of satisfaction...silence everywhere. And the loud buzzing sound inside my head since I left the stage. That happy feeling which did not let me sleep, did not calculate my dreams, and did not let limit myself.

Remember Me

“If you could hear me, I would say that our finger prints don't fade from the lives we've touched.” ~~Tyler Hawkins in Remember Me

Being good is not always easy. You do everything for people, try to make them happy not for your own benefits but just that it will make you happy too. They smile, you smile….they cry, you cry. Probably it’s the care that’s within us speaks, the child within us weeps.

But then, we are humans and we tend to make mistakes. The strangest thing is that even after doing so many things or so much for people they ask for more. Probably today the world is so selfish that everything we do or say makes someone feel that we have some hidden reason to do so. It is actually amazing how fast friendships and relationships can go to shit. People will throw away so many years in one single day.

We do things for people…at times when they seek some help and at times when we generously offer to do. But that definitely doesn’t mean that we have a hidden agenda behind that. Probably these people didn’t see the emotion or affection that connects us to them…but after all we are humans too, we too get hurt, we too feel betrayed at times…we don’t reply or retaliate doesn’t mean that we accept every blame that’s been given to us.

I really wonder why people suddenly change after they get what they wanted. One day they are sweet, the next day they are not. One day they are here, the next day they are not. One day you are important to them, the next day you are worthless. That's how ironic things and people can be.

Frankly and very honestly speaking…where is my fault??? Being there for you at your moment of distress…sacrificing my spot of happiness for you…spending sleepless nights tackling your problems…is this what I get as a reward??? May be yes!!! I’m mean...for I think you to be same as mine…yes I’m mean ‘coz I expect the same things from you…yes I’m mean because I forget and forgive everything…your blunt blunt words, your humiliation, your sarcasm…everything. Yes I’m mean for I’m a person taken for granted always. Yes I‘m mean for I’m an idiot…a ‘Prized Idiot’. I’m prized…for being such an idiot, for trying to spread smile all around…and become a villain instead of a hero…most remarkably being villain to people who once themselves made me a hero.

Yes!!! It's my story! It’s our story! In life, we all stood on both the sides of this story.  

Notes For You

I want you to know that what I note down is often not how I feel, and at the same time altogether exactly how I feel.

Today, I have so many words to write but I just can't get them to form correctly in my head. I can't get my ideas onto paper anymore. I miss seeing my fingers fly over the keys. I miss walking out of work with a smile because I came up with the best idea. I miss the sound of rushing water, and the dappled sunbeams that drifts lazily through the trees. I miss clicking. I miss the adventures that came with the click of every frame, I miss creating that magic myself.

But I am also a person, a guy. I want to be loved and held. I want to fight and cry and kiss and laugh.

I want to laugh. I want you to make me laugh. Because you can!

And I'll to write it down and try to remember what it felt like to be in love. How it felt to be completely in love with you. I don't hold back and I will do my best to be honest. But I am an artist and an artist lives within a watchfully made fantasy. They may have a life outside of this fantasy, but to the artist that is not their reality. That is not who they are. Not truly who they are to themselves. And no one will ever know of this complex fantasy, because that's when things fall apart that cannot be put back together again.

I want to lay in the grass, I want to fall asleep in your arms. I want to feel you kiss my neck and feel your arms pull me closer to you. I want to be close to you. I want to be your mystery. I don't ever want the puzzle of you to spell it out for me.

I forgot to laugh like I used to. I forgot to jump around. I forgot to chat with my friends for long hours. I forgot how it was to go out friends. I forgot how it was to be happy and mesmerizing, because I created, clicked or wrote something nice. The colours, the nature, innocence, and beauty nothing seems to captivate me anymore.

I don't want to let you know that I drown in your memory; I don't want to let this go. Wish I had the courage to lie to you. But I don't. Because I can’t lie to you.

Come and take me away to my Dreamland again!! This land is dry, sour n rough!!

Tonight..

“You gave me a song I learned to hum,

You showed me beauty through the windows of your soul,

And you showed me a world I've never seen!

Each, giving to each other love and giving it away,

We spent the valued time we didn’t knew was borrowed,

Cause you gave me the courage to live with yesterday,

And you gave me tomorrow.”

Tonight, when I go to sleep, I take this song with me and all the memories. I really treasure it. To me, it means caring about someone not just because they have something you want, but because you have something you want to give.

Tonight lying in my bed, I stare at the wall and try to remember you here with me, sleeping peacefully, holding my hand and not even knowing. Now looking back, every minute I wasted not being with you, I wish I could have that back. I miss you so much, I'm crying for no reason. Tonight, we didn't say goodnight like the other nights. It feels very empty like this. I hope you had a good day, a good reason for not being with me tonight to talk to me and tell me to create, write or click something. I was in bed by 12, like you wanted. I always send you a text right before sleeping (is safe in drafts) hoping that will help me dream about us...together.

It's so hard to be alone here without you. My heart hurts, thinking you're not 100% sure of being with me. My sincere words, my tears, are they not enough?

Tonight I fall asleep with dried tears on my face and all the memories next to me.

Goodnight!

Because We Ended As Lovers!

The myth continues...so does the argument. A boy and a girl can never be friends!!! People say, friends who are of the opposite sex truly and entirely confuse them. They don't understand how two people of opposite genders can be best friends. But then, as they say...friendship is the first step of love. So to be in love at first the boy and the girl needs to be friends, they need to know each other. They need to develop liking for each other. Two people of opposite genders don't usually hang out that much unless they're dating.

Well, I can already predict myself being very, very self-contradictory, but that's because I'm just so confused! The confusion induces from the term "Just friends". Probably it is the cloudiest term in the universe. Truthfully, how do you go from feeling for someone romantically to agreeing wholeheartedly that friendship is the only thing connecting you? The reality is, you don't. Romantic feelings persist; love is the most stubborn kind.

You meet someone. You become friends, you start knowing each other closely. And slowly you develop feelings for her. You go on a few dates. You have long talks and small adventures together. You start to fall for each other. You agree to be exclusive. You learn more and more about each others' lives, and the people in it. And as they say, there is not always a fairytale ending, things fall apart. You part your ways. You decide to remain friends. Time passes. Things change and gets complicated. We learn that the friend has moved to the city for the summer, and they are hanging out, playing music together while you are working. The more you hear about this friend, the more the realization hits you: you are still very much in love with her. You discover that in being in that kind of a relationship, you have actually lost parts of your friendship that you had really enjoyed. In the end, you just wanted to be friends. But ‘because you ended as lovers’, you can never actually go back to the way things used to be.

An Ode To Music!

The New Year is already a month old. The month of February suddenly turns the year into just another year and there’s this sudden dash of mush into it, no wonder it’s the valentine month. Talking about love, we actually can’t have enough of it till we feel it, but talking about my first love of my life, it has the power to get me weak on my knees or to elate me a euphoric high and everything in between.

Frankly speaking, it cannot be defined. I don’t think we’ll ever be able to define Music. It’s indefinable, it travels, it stirs something within us. It impels us to prominence. It makes a friend out of a stranger. It gives a community culture and identity. Maybe music isn’t just enjoyable and exciting, maybe it is necessary.

Being at the realm of Music, I actually never felt any pain, maybe its magic. Such a healer it is! It’s one craziness, one obsession, one escape I looked up to at many times, and it always looked back at me with the perfect amount of care I needed. There are many times in life when you just wish people would listen, when you know in your heart that you are right, but you just can't get people to see it your way. It is just so frustrating when you can't talk some sense into people. As we grow older, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change . . . its music. Time change, people change, but it doesn’t. I bet you listen to music. Not everyone does. Music is one of the rare things we all have in common.

So as the year turns to another Valentine’s Day for me, without a Valentine I don't consider myself a ‘lonely heart.’ It's about love and this Valentine’s is for my first love…Music!

Music And Lyrics

Impact of Music Lyrics

Music is what wakes me up in the morning, makes me dance, and calms me when I’m feeling unhappy about something, makes me cry when its needed, inspires me when I’m down, makes me smile when I’m confused and gives me a way. It is a factor in everyday life and because of the colossal quantity of credence music has, music has had a major influence on behaviour.

Changing the words

Lyrics can inspire, sadden and lead to euphoria. Annie Lennox’s song, Walking on Broken Glass. That was exactly how it felt – painful, cutting and desperate. Music — nostalgic, uplifting, and memorable — forms the soundtrack of my life. It’s much like colours, different colour different mood. I eagerly await the music not yet heard, and the lyrics yet to inspire! What music resonates within you?

How Do Music Lyrics Impact Teen Behavior

[edit]

The Good

It’s one topic that everyone has an opinion about. As unlikely as it may seem there are few things that we can agree on, the role music & lyrics can play in fostering some good in our society is being one of them.

Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On (1971): Marvin Gaye’s album What’s Going On imparted context to a culture that seemed to be disintegrating right before our eyes. From the civil rights movement, to the Vietnam War, to the plight of the poor, Marvin Gaye helped a generation deal with what seemed to be a never ending crisis of social perception.

The Beatles' All You Need Is Love (1967): The Fab Four swayed the minds and warmed the hearts of a generation the world over, but it was when All You Need Is Love became the anthem of the anti-war movement that the power of music was truly felt.

[edit]

The Bad

Examples plucked from headlines through the years:

Two male teens kidnap a young girl in the early 1990’s and claim that Nirvana’s Penny Royal Tea put the idea in their heads.

Teens commit suicide and Ozzy Osbourne's lyrics to Suicide Solution are blamed.

Every time one of these terrible incidents rears its ugly head, it seems that the music and performers of that music are the ones we blame, not the bullies at school, not the parents, nor the guns and depression. At the end of the day, it is up to us as a society to decide just who is to blame for these tragic instances.

[edit]

[edit]

Retrieved from "http://teens.lovetoknow.com/How_Do_Music_Lyrics_Impact_Teen_Behavior"

Comments

I couldn't live without Music! Music is a major part of my life: Music is only self expressionism. It’s what we listen to when we feel a specific emotion, or we want to feel a specific way. I know music may give some kids ideas about violence, but music can be looked at in different ways. Music is just about how we interpret it.

How Music influence Your Life

Music is a human activity which involves prearranged audible sounds and is used for artistic, entertainment or ceremonial purposes. Music is a major part of our environment. It is often referred to as "The International Language" - a simple thought with vast implications behind it. Even if you cannot speak the language of a foreign country, you can move, dance, and most of all, enjoys the music of that country. While we may not understand the words to a particular song, we do understand the beauty of the music.

The making of music predates man's use of the written word and is deeply tied to the development and uniqueness of various human cultures. Music has influenced human beings since the dawn of civilization.

Music greatly affects our personal moods. Music can calm and revitalize us in a variety of ways. It can elevate our moods above our personal fears and doubts and even reduce stress and pain levels. Soft, soothing music can help you unwind. Music ranges from a mere whisper to the fullest of sound. Music is good for your soul!

Music affects our moods; it is the great mood enhancer. We may not understand the words, but instead recognize the expression of its musical beauty and power to de-stress. Have you ever heard the saying, 'Music soothes the savage beast?' It's true. Music can calm and revitalize us in ways even a lengthy nap can't. Music holds the power to elevate our moods above our worries and relieve debilitating depression. It can also perk us up if we use it with exercise or dance.

Give it a chance.

While listening to music, listen to the words and rhythm as well as the tune. We may find something to like a type of music that previously we didn't like at all.

Listening to music is such a basic pure pleasure that many of us forget the tremendous value of it.

If you play an instrument, you'll find you've stumbled onto the best audience in the world. Go back often to visit and play. In this way, you've not only made the lives of other people brighter through your music, but you're going to find yourself in much better spirits.

Music for me is stress buster, life, feel and lyrics is like the door straight to heart.

A Lot Like Love!

At times when we see a movie, read a book, or do something that made you say, "Wow, I wish that would happen to me" Especially in the case of love... "Oh I wish we would do that" or "I want to be kissed in the rain!"

Seems it's always like this, never ending, feels like putting your heart out, hoping it won't break and when that moment comes it wipes away all of the tears you’ve cried. It takes you over, elevates you, and gives you wings to fly. Sometimes when nothing' turns out right, you wonder if it's worth the fight, sometimes you wish that you could say, that you have had enough, still you keep on going back for more, cause there's one thing that you can't get tired of, and that's chasing love. It’s like euphoria, only the one is into it can feel or explain it. It becomes a habit to make that someone a habit, when we don’t walk alone and that person becomes an innocent trouble. That one person becomes everything that your heart craves, feels every void in your heart, giggle of your leisure time, you walk in the clouds, you fall and pick yourself up, you dream, you sleepwalk and you get afraid to lose. You tend to get foolish, you tend to act dumb, but this heart actually doesn’t listen to anything. You learn how to be lost completely, want to be found, be craved like the things we push away and it lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before.

"It's a lot like love if you think about it, because it’s there, beautiful, just happy to be there, win or lose, just doing whatever they can to overcome obstacles and succeed It's just... well, it's just as beautiful as love."

Think about this, if you will...

When A Man Loves A Woman

Sometimes I feel as if I am in an absolutely different element and even when I’m with family and friends, I often feel so out of place. No matter how much of a crowd I am in, I am still alone and yet, it’s the same place that keeps my mind calm in times of sorrow. It’s cold where I am, this perpetual instant of silence in a mirage of serenity. I suppose it’s just like the darkness of outer space and I’m awaiting the sunlight to find its way. This dream of mine begins with a conversation of whispers.

To love a woman is a journey of finding romance, a journey of finding her heart through the simplest of ways. Some people say it’s apparent to find love, but if you allow yourself to believe that love can only exist without limitations, then and only then will you find the way to a woman’s heart because your destination is always to find her heart at the end of each path. As you venture through the walls of her heart, you will find new reason to redefine your definition of what it is to love. Before we fall in love we are able to find comfort in solitude, but when we have finally fallen deep into love, we automatically begin to learn a need that overpowers every character of our being. When you take time to discover her for everything she is, it’s about letting her change you into the man you were always meant to be and allowing yourself to need her in order to become more than who you are.

When you have the want to discover and know her, you will find innocence in her eyes because aside from romance, she’s just so much more than what meets the eye. She’s your best friend, someone to share all your deepest feelings and dreams with because romance is not always the key to finding her heart. It is the ability to warm her heart through other means as your wishes inspire you to make her laugh and cry and dream of many beautiful things. To love a woman is a journey of discovery and if you allow yourself to find innocence in her eyes, you will find beauty in her every movement. It’s about finding beauty within the split of her broken heart, even if she is in a confusion, which makes all the difference in the world because when you acknowledge it’s only her feelings of being in a confusion, you’re also acknowledging that she’s beautiful no matter when, how or where.

Some day, when you find her falling into your arms ever so softly in a moment of weakness, it’s about giving her an ounce of faith, hope or just may be the whole world for moment. Love in its purest form is selfless in every way and it’s about showing her she’s loved and not only that she’s loved by you. Some day, when you come to the realization that her tears are really not tears, but beautiful heart cries instead, that’s when you know you’ve taken the first of many steps in discovering the art of loving a woman and may be it is where I am right now.

If there is a way to reach a woman’s heart without the touch of fingertips, I promise I will find it, even if it takes the deaths of a billion trillion stars, but as of this moment I have to believe this is only a learning process so if that one special girl finally comes along, I will know how to bring joy into her life.

All you people out there in love remember…

“When a man loves a woman

Can't keep his mind on nothin' else

He'd trade the world

For the good thing he's found…

.....................................

When a man loves a woman

Deep down in his soul

She can bring him such misery

If she is playing him for a fool

He's the last one to know

Loving eyes can never see!”

Poem

frozen unfrozen silence,

tuned into a poem...

one handful of moonlight....

your giggles,

like Cindrella's fairy tales or Alice's dreams???

one worn out photo,

one you,

and a few lines of

adrifted poem...

N.B.: It was scribbled long long back, it dates back to March 2008. Just wanted to share :)

Not This, Not That

Generally poetry is accepted to be the highest form of literary expression. Even the best of prose, be it fiction, biography or travelogue, comprehensively enjoyed when read for the first time, it loses much of its appeal when read for the second time. On the other hand, good poetry becomes more and more enjoyable when re-read. One does not have to be a scholar to write good poetry. Either you have it in you or don’t. And far too often, it stays latent in the recesses of a person’s mind till some event triggers it off. My naive tryst with poetry…just an attempt.

The words were still there
Scattered…all over,
Words…
Beyond the radius of understanding.

I yearn for some sunshine…
In this ominous evening.

A reverie…
Flying like ‘paper planes’
Flying with eternal devotion…

A word…
Beyond definition…

I Will Learn To Breathe, Again!

"They build us up and put us on the tallest pedestal, only to break us down, make us fall from the greatest heights. But it's okay. We pick ourselves up again and build ourselves up, without their help. And if we fall again, it doesn't hurt so much."

In anything in life, when we fall down, first and foremost, we should to try to congregate ourselves back. It's no certainty that someone's going to always be there to pick us up; at times we need to do it our self. Life always is a roller coaster, at times up and at times down and down. But the past is the past. Can't change it. You can't be held down because of it.

Now, just going to try to live life to the fullest, and if it was meant to be, it will be. With a little push of course. But for now, maybe it's not the best time for it. So the past can go suck it and stop bothering you.

People make mistakes. But if people are meant to be together, things may possibly fall into place. But also, a lot of times, we take people for granted. If they're always there, we take their presence for granted which is bad. I don't think you should punish yourself for mistakes. It’s not worth it. People make mistakes, learn from it. Your happiness, your happiness doesn't necessarily need to involve that person being back into your life. Don’t beat yourself over it.

You are unwritten, you are undefined. You are just beginning. Open up the porthole; allow the sun to light up your world. Release your inhibitions, experience the rain on your skin, no one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in, drench yourself, live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten.

P.S.: This note is especially dedicated to you, you, you and you (you people know whom I mean!). Do the things that you always wanted to, without anyone there to hold you back. Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag &..."Smile Smile Smile..."

Run...To You!!!

Love is a contradiction. It's everything and nothing at the same time. It's pain, sorrow, happiness. It's blinding and ignorant, it's knowledge and truth. It’s every noun and adjective included in the dictionary.

Sometimes you wondered if it's worth it. Is it worth it to even try when I seem to not even care about you? Is it worth it to call and to check your phone and to call again and to message me and to hope I'll call? If I didn't make the effort, would you? Would you ever talk to me or even care that I didn't talk to you? Are the days of heartache worth when the only thing you get in return is a few minutes of happiness?

At times, you might have felt that I’ve been ignorant or taking you for granted. At times, I thought I should share, show you all my care but I was indisposed or at times preoccupied. It’s true; I've been watching you, no, not waiting for the precise moment to make the first move. Do you want to know, why I keep avoiding your eyes, and why I'm running away? It's crazy; I know...maybe I'm destined to be alone, maybe there's someone who will understand, may be you’ll be able to understand that I'm not able to share my world, I'm still running away. I know it’s crazy...I've been conceiving you, for too long, If only I could change all the things around.

I wish that I could be with you and hold you in my arms, whisper all my love to you and kiss away your tears. I wish that I could take your cares and put them all away, neatly folded into drawers while bliss lights your smile. I wish that joy could step inside your heart and stay awhile, and all the rain could turn into a rainbow in the sun. And all our loneliness like mist could fade into the blue. I don't want to just be there for when you feel like you need someone to love you. I want to be there when it's good for me, not just you. I want to feel loved, not just the one who's doing the loving. I want to feel needed, not the one who's being needy. I want to feel alive. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I know there’s no point in dance with a dream for they cannot wrap their arms around me on cold nights, they cannot call you first thing in the morning just to say hello. They cannot kiss your forehead or hold your hand. Dreams live in the mind, and it is there that they stay. Dreams cannot keep you company when you are alone. Dreams cannot say, “I love you.” Dreams can only go so far. I don’t want another dream; I want you. The truth is, I need you here. I need you here to wipe away my tears to kiss away my fears if you only knew how much...

I want to run to you, because you’re the one who always turns me on. I know that when you look at me, there are so much that you just don’t see, but if you would only take the time I know in my heart you’d find someone who’s scared sometimes, who isn’t always strong. I want to run to you, won’t you hold me in your arms and keep me safe from harm.

Run…to you!!!