Wednesday, October 1, 2008

That Thing Called Love...

Life always spills surprises on us, every step is a new one and we never know what is coming our way. Life always unfolds a door for us, possibly not the one that we consider to be good for us, but the one that will eventually prove good for us. Love and Death being the two most un-invited guests, no body knows when they will come and embrace you, but they do the same work. One takes the heart and other takes the beat. Jokes apart, but according to me ‘Love’ is the second mistake created by GOD, ‘Girls’ being the first. But there is no doubt in the fact that both are beautiful mistakes.

Mistakes do happen. People slip, people trip, people fall and usually people don’t care, but then people slip and fall in love with someone and they don’t know what to do. Love actually is a strange thing. You never know how, where and when it will wrap you. Out of no where a person enters your life like no one else, and things change. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and it is created in a moment. We never know with whom we fall in love and how. It’s a nice feeling when you are in love, but what if you fall for a person whom you have know for years, being good friends ??? To add to it there comes this dilemma, to tell her or to not??? If you love someone just approach and disclose; either way you’ll gain but what a pity our life is, if we hate someone we tell them without any fear and if we love someone we fear to tell…

What are you waiting for?

You have to tell her. Don't let her get away. You will regret it someday. Perhaps, we risk more by not risking anything at all.

Honesty works best, of course. But saying "I Love You" right away can be a huge leap and might come as shocking. May be it would just be a good idea not to tell her directly that you love her but drop very palpable hints in that direction. Talking might go a lot easier this way. No doubt about it, you should tell her. Having a romantic relationship with someone who is also your friend is a wonderful thing. If you lose her as a friend at least you would have tried.

The problem with telling your friend you love her is that it could damage the friendship. On the contrary, not knowing is even worse. If this person is truly your friend then the friendship will stay intact despite the temporary awkwardness.

I believe, to sit down and have a serious talk with her, pouring your heart out may help. The worst thing that could happen is she doesn't feel the same way. So what, you might still be friends. Usually girls don't cross the line of friendship on their own because they are scared of being rejected and losing a friend at the same time.

The questions comes again…should I or should not???

Do you really want to spend the rest of your life saying "What if?"

I don't think so!!! So, it’s always better to just tell her. You should go for it. You should not expect her to see the signs to know that you are interested. Tell her. It's better to know than wonder. And remember that she might not be there forever.

We usually end up in two situations, or at least I feel that we do:

(1) How important your companionable friendship is with this girl??

(2) Whether or not you are capable of maintaining that friendship and simultaneously moving on??

In all likelihood, she already knows how you feel, and although she doesn't feel the same way, she really appreciates your friendship. Saying something to her will undoubtedly create an uncomfortable situation between you. If you value your friendship, and would like to continue it, you should stay friends but MOVE ON. The only negative thing she can do after knowing the situation is to try to put distance between you two, and you can easily put a stop to that by letting her know that she is important to you and that you won't let her just walk away. You really do have nothing to lose. Interest often evolves one-sided in friendships. Even if she doesn't feel the same way, if you two can overcome the initial awkwardness (however long that may be), ultimately it will bind your friendship to be stronger.
True love in you if understood by the other need not be openly 'told'! If it is not understood there is no point in telling to your disappointment. If the true love is there on both sides, it will develop its own dynamics of expression which is spontaneous, silent and sacred.

We should do what our heart feels. It doesn't get easier every time you tell someone how you feel (for me at least). If she is a friend she will continue to be one. We should never bottle up emotions like these since they can literally destroy our life. Don't wait and miss the chance altogether. If she really values your friendship, she is not going to let something like this ruin a friendship.


…Probably it’s the story of every other person, it happened to me and countless others. One fine day it just happened, someone kept running in my mind all day long and I didn’t know what it was. I was never been so confused before. Was it a crush??? Infatuation??? A passing phase of my life or it was just her, her and her…

After a long self introspection, I finally asked myself…

What are you waiting for?

7 comments:

kabandi---d rebel in my own terms said...

its so very close to all dat v at some point of tym has gone thru..sme starts a new lyf after it n d rest ends in dejection... unusual take on love..but so very true... even m unable to find if it being crush ,infatuatn or love...but wotever it s..it still lets u move on..n dats lyf..

my space said...

dis might be one of da finest blogs i'v cm across in recent times.. all da emotions r so wonderfully encapsulated..moreovr da subject is so close to evryone n i think u made complete justice to it..
finally twas a nice read..
keep it up n keep blogging..

wishes..
Sukanya!! :)

Sanjeeban Kumar Mahanta said...

"Perhaps, we risk more by not risking anything at all."

the strongest of the statements in the prose....

"Honesty works best, of course. But saying "I Love You" right away can be a huge leap and might come as shocking. " yeah its very correctly n nicely put.... luvd it

one thing is for sure that after having read the facts a youngster can gather more stragtegies to tackle the initial awkwardness .... :D

However one thing is imp that Love doesnt necessarily mean the very relationship betwn a man n a woman.... Love is mch etheral than dat..Its a force which enables you to wrk wonders...a passion one can say...

The words were so real...anyone who goes through the prose will find it so close to his/her life...
Jst like it big time....

polka said...

wow guruji..thnx for your pearls of wisdom..btw you can write the script for a aditya chopra romance..so mch experience
BTW..when will we have the plaesure of seeing u utilize some of your wisdom..or are you doing it already??

smita said...

love could b nethin...4 ne1...
it's advent 2 1's lyf is undefineable???

bt its feelin, i say,is wonderful n gay!!
who has neva seen its way...
can neva risk 2 say...!!!

Aaliya said...

yup agreed completely....it does happen...
n its very very true dat if ur frnship is true nothings gonna ruin it....ders an understanding.....
its lyk u ve picked a chapter from my lyf....:)
btw luv d way u write...
way to go dude!!!

chaichaichai said...

In my opinion... it is a personal choice, whether you want to subject yourself to that kind of mental torture.
Speaking for myself, I usually am very passionate about my emotions, and it's extremely painful for me to be friends with someone who i have feelings for. It's torture, for me to be trying NOT to think about her, when she is with me.

Is the torture worth it? Is the "trueness" of the friendship even a factor at all?

Of course, you can pick up the friendship after some gap, when the feelings have cooled down. Otherwise, there are more chances that you screw up the friendship, as the unrequited love could create an elephant in the room, whenever you meet.

Of course, it also depends upon the maturity of the people involved, but i have so far not met anybody who can handle this totally maturely. Someone always gets hurt, and wants more/less.