I Will Learn To Breathe, Again!

"They build us up and put us on the tallest pedestal, only to break us down, make us fall from the greatest heights. But it's okay. We pick ourselves up again and build ourselves up, without their help. And if we fall again, it doesn't hurt so much."

In anything in life, when we fall down, first and foremost, we should to try to congregate ourselves back. It's no certainty that someone's going to always be there to pick us up; at times we need to do it our self. Life always is a roller coaster, at times up and at times down and down. But the past is the past. Can't change it. You can't be held down because of it.

Now, just going to try to live life to the fullest, and if it was meant to be, it will be. With a little push of course. But for now, maybe it's not the best time for it. So the past can go suck it and stop bothering you.

People make mistakes. But if people are meant to be together, things may possibly fall into place. But also, a lot of times, we take people for granted. If they're always there, we take their presence for granted which is bad. I don't think you should punish yourself for mistakes. It’s not worth it. People make mistakes, learn from it. Your happiness, your happiness doesn't necessarily need to involve that person being back into your life. Don’t beat yourself over it.

You are unwritten, you are undefined. You are just beginning. Open up the porthole; allow the sun to light up your world. Release your inhibitions, experience the rain on your skin, no one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in, drench yourself, live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten.

P.S.: This note is especially dedicated to you, you, you and you (you people know whom I mean!). Do the things that you always wanted to, without anyone there to hold you back. Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag &..."Smile Smile Smile..."

Run...To You!!!

Love is a contradiction. It's everything and nothing at the same time. It's pain, sorrow, happiness. It's blinding and ignorant, it's knowledge and truth. It’s every noun and adjective included in the dictionary.

Sometimes you wondered if it's worth it. Is it worth it to even try when I seem to not even care about you? Is it worth it to call and to check your phone and to call again and to message me and to hope I'll call? If I didn't make the effort, would you? Would you ever talk to me or even care that I didn't talk to you? Are the days of heartache worth when the only thing you get in return is a few minutes of happiness?

At times, you might have felt that I’ve been ignorant or taking you for granted. At times, I thought I should share, show you all my care but I was indisposed or at times preoccupied. It’s true; I've been watching you, no, not waiting for the precise moment to make the first move. Do you want to know, why I keep avoiding your eyes, and why I'm running away? It's crazy; I know...maybe I'm destined to be alone, maybe there's someone who will understand, may be you’ll be able to understand that I'm not able to share my world, I'm still running away. I know it’s crazy...I've been conceiving you, for too long, If only I could change all the things around.

I wish that I could be with you and hold you in my arms, whisper all my love to you and kiss away your tears. I wish that I could take your cares and put them all away, neatly folded into drawers while bliss lights your smile. I wish that joy could step inside your heart and stay awhile, and all the rain could turn into a rainbow in the sun. And all our loneliness like mist could fade into the blue. I don't want to just be there for when you feel like you need someone to love you. I want to be there when it's good for me, not just you. I want to feel loved, not just the one who's doing the loving. I want to feel needed, not the one who's being needy. I want to feel alive. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I know there’s no point in dance with a dream for they cannot wrap their arms around me on cold nights, they cannot call you first thing in the morning just to say hello. They cannot kiss your forehead or hold your hand. Dreams live in the mind, and it is there that they stay. Dreams cannot keep you company when you are alone. Dreams cannot say, “I love you.” Dreams can only go so far. I don’t want another dream; I want you. The truth is, I need you here. I need you here to wipe away my tears to kiss away my fears if you only knew how much...

I want to run to you, because you’re the one who always turns me on. I know that when you look at me, there are so much that you just don’t see, but if you would only take the time I know in my heart you’d find someone who’s scared sometimes, who isn’t always strong. I want to run to you, won’t you hold me in your arms and keep me safe from harm.

Run…to you!!!

Partners In Rhyme !!!

‘Lucky’ is one word for someone who has in fact found a real friend, a person one can hope for. Someone who is there not only to spend happy times with us, but more on our appalling times. But having a real best friend whom you relate your secrets to, talk about how boring your day at work was up to, your whining about the new dress you just bought from the store. Someone whom you share your thoughts or plans to. It’s because they know who we really are, through the worst things we did to them and they still stood by us and still love us, that’s a friend to keep.

What do we owe our friends? Friends owe each other their friendship, their help in times of need, their companionship when we are lonely. A friend owes nothing more or less then what they receive from you. You need to have an equal amount of respect for each other. Sometimes we make choices that our friends don't agree with but in the end a true friend understands we must make our own choices and gives us the time and space we need to in order do so. Personally, I owe my friends a lot simply because they put up with my shit. In return I put up with shit I wouldn't normally take from, say, an everyday correlate.

In how many ways have friends enriched our lives and made us feel loved, accepted, respected and cared for? Probably, too many to list and the list grows daily. Friends...but I deviate, that’s why all friends are so different...each one is your friend for similar and different reasons, just like you are a friend to them for whatever encircling reasons they feel. We each give and take, and when there is a balance…yes it's wonderful, but at times one might need more than the other, and it's under the premise that, if I was in that situation you would have done the same thing. That might seem to be an expectation of a friend, but it's more like it's the thought that counts.

A lot of people go through life with only a few friends. It seems that some have less than that. They have no one on whom they can call in good times or bad. There is no one with whom to bounce ideas around, or to talk about deep and troubling subjects. They have no one to call in times of need or difficulty. They are at the mercy of life, standing alone. Others seem to have a multitude of friends. Wherever they go, people know them, and like to be around them. Should trouble strike, their biggest hesitation might be over which friend to call. They know exactly the person with whom to discuss the topics of inquiry and debate. Life is full of entertaining and invigorating relationships because it is full of friends.

It is safe to say that when God shaped the world and all the splendid things in it, when he streaked the heavens with radiant shades and the earth with grand mountains and awe-inspiring canyons, when he painted the plains with waving grassland and erected gracious woods of towering foliage, he outdid it all by creating friends. Why not take a moment or two and thank someone today for being a friend to you?

Droplets of Life...

The backdrop:

“Deba: Arpan da…aji office’r pora ahute khub titilu…bhal lagile.

Me: boroxunor’r kotha nokoba...beya lagi jai…Pune’t thakile etiyale sage flat tu tita kapuror gundhot bhori gol hoi.

Deba: ha ha...hei smell tu. aru ehoptah man ekeloge beli nedekha..office-le jaute boroxun..Office-r pora ulaute boroxun...eibilak pisot bhabile birat bhal lage. apuni likhibo try diyok..bhal hobo !!

Me: boroxun’t ulai jaute saba…tumar cell tu…juwa bosor ki hoisile monot ase nohoi??

Deba: bag eta kinisu..tar bhitorot eta polythene ..tar bhitoror cell aru purse ..eibar risk nolou...:)

Me: aru aji khana ki…??

Deba: khana aaji soya beanor kheti...aru papad…”

The memories…they keep on coming back; touch me again and again. Reminds me papon da singing…”fagunore bauli baa…loi jaa muk loi jaa”

I slipped out into the open…barefoot. The night air is cooling but not cold. Goodness it’s raining! I stand there gently…looking at the stars. I love rainy nights...love listening to the rain singing me a lullaby...love the ambience, the romance, the sadness, the beauty, the stories behind the rain. Rain makes me nostalgic…make me soak in memories…something I’ll cherish for a lifetime…and beyond, if allowed.

Rain reminds me of Pune. My second home…it owns a ‘Lions Share’ of being me. The knowledge, the molding, the bike rides, the ‘Dhaba’ trips at midnight when its 4°c outside, those "night outs", the ‘rescue’ missions, those midnight tease, birthday bumps, old torn jeans, late night walks, long chats and conversations, cooking sessions, crushes, getting kicked out of the class, the project time, struggle for marks, writing on desks, fighting with friends, tears for love, just anything and everything...unique and unmatched.

Well, I am back in and feel sleepy and fairly at peace with tomorrow's uncertainty and its prospects. And I am grateful for the unexpected gifts of yesterday. There are some things you don't have to say but are just understood. But then, why not stretch these things out as long as possible, right?

Night-Night!

P.S.: dedicated to all my Pune friends, seniors, juniors, classmates and colleagues. You people made life such a wonderful voyage.

Life's Bookmark !

How life changes, suddenly from a sluggish black and white movie to one of zipping fast ones where the music is just blaring in your ears. And the irony is that you always want to be on the other side…definitely grass is always greener on the other side. It’s all momentary; the only thing that is constant is change. Life everyday is a new frontier. It was time to start from the scratch again and as I was looking for my maiden assignment AIM Quest happened to me.

This story may seem common to most of the people. People even have more or less the same chapter in their life. No words to describe, I actually can’t pour all my emotions this way...this is amazing...I don’t have words to let u know how it made me feel...I’m touched. In life, we hardly take opportunity to thank people who have really made a difference and are the unsung heroes of our life. Small things usually go unnoticed but they make great sense and they are the one who make life so easy and cheerful.

I felt elated when my name was called on the stage and I was flooded with appreciation and gifts. Thank you all at Assam Institute of Management (AIM). Thank you for believing in my abilities, having patience with me and mostly for making things so comfortable for me. I never felt that I was not a student of the institute.

The sound of claps will always linger on my mind. And will be something I’ll go back every time I’m down or lack in zeal. No matter, even if someday I may reach the zenith of supremacy AIM, AIM Quest 2009, its memories and all the people at AIM will always remain special for me. I will always specially bookmark this chapter of my life. Thank you for making my maiden solo assignment so unforgettable.

Thank you Himadri, for asking me if I can help and introducing me to AIM. Thank you Shruti, for all the creative inputs, thank you (in alphabetical order) Anakshi, Bidisha, Jayasweta, Lakshya, Manab, Mrinal, Neel, Rahul, Ritu, Shraddha, Smita, Sukanya, Zubeen, thank you the 14th batch of AIM, you people simply rock !!!

Melody of Ecstasy !

This is tough. This is really a difficult thing for me to type. There is a love song in my thoughts that summed up the way that I felt. In my view it is so beautiful, honest, true and mesmerizing…something a woman could not resist. In true sense, something to sing about. Excluding the fact that I don't sing, may be I would sing it to the loved ones in my life. But seriously, this has been stuck in my head a while. A romantic gesture to be precise.

So much to say, but nothing comes out right. She makes me feel something I can't describe. I always catch myself thinking about the things she does. There isn't anyone else I need; I've got my heart set on her. Day by day, I find my way. Look for the song and the meaning. Then she looks at me, and I always see what I have been searching for. I'm lost as can be. And her eyes, she should see the way they glow when she smiles. I know, she would love it when I sing 'The Song'. She would just melt in my arms and I could feel her heart beat...and I'm not lost anymore.

Well…all this while, let us go through a free verse...got the feeling that my heart holds something like this and it will creep up on my mind sooner or later.

Moonlight shines upon your face

I gaze into your eyes

My heart begins to skip a beat

As I begin to realize.

You bring to me a feeling

Which I have never felt before

A feeling of contentment

Happiness and more.

I will always be beside you

Be your friend and lover

I promise you this day

There will never be another.

Because we were meant to be

And that is without a doubt

I never knew what love was

Or what it was all about.

And then you walked into my life

And showed me what I was missing

Truly you were sent from above

Only God could create such a blessing.

When we spell c-u-l-t-u-r-e

I am sad at the state of the country tonight, especially the young generation, MY generation. I am disappointed and I am sincerely more than a little bit embarrassed. I know I'm going to come off as elitist, and you can think whatever the hell you want. But these are my sincere and innermost thoughts, so take away from it what you want. 

People seem to forget that we have a culture completely unique to itself. Everybody just seems to lose focus of what's right in front of us everyday! It's fresh to be exposed to different background and traditions. Our generation is so overly obsessed with celebrities, the latest fashion trend, and the latest new gadget we can add to our collection. We know how to use our Blackberries like pros and can download/hack music/movies etc. without breaking a sweat. But if I were to ask you to name me one, let alone 10 pieces “CULTURE”.

We can’t blame the culture surrounding us; after all it is others culture as Indian culture is ours. We people usually underestimate our country and overestimate foreign countries. The culture always lies in citizens. The western culture has influenced us in many good ways like they have made us move along with the world. If one is influenced by western culture its not that you have to forget your culture. I think one is good enough to decide which is good or bad. But instead of taking bad things of it let us take good things out of it. If you are really interested in getting addicted to the Western culture, get to know about their mannerism and neatness of the surroundings. Wearing Jeans and minis is not enough to acquire the western culture. Nobody can be forced to do things unless one wants to.

It’s us…yes…we are representing our generation. Come on people. Yeah culture isn't the most fascinating/interesting thing in the world (even though I would argue it is INCREDIBLY fascinating and endlessly changing and evolving). But it affects every one, whether you want to believe it or not.

...If

As Valentines Day approaches we all look for a few words to express ourselves. Indubitably, silence is the best. But sometimes words create magic and love all over again.

"What will remain of us is love".

I was thinking what would I do if I actually had a Valentine tomorrow?

I prefer romantic simplicity. I would much rather go out to dinner at a jazzy restaurant on a night when the place isn't packed to the brim with overdressed patrons and filled with the aroma of ‘Calvin Klein’ and ‘Catalyst’. Movies at the theater means fighting a crowd and the possibility of being stuck crane necked in the front row with a view up and not being able to see a thing! It's all a recipe for royal disappointment. The best part of the evening would surely be the company...but how much better it could be with the ideal atmosphere.

I'd much rather opt for a night in...Together.

My ideal Valentine's date would be making bar-b-que together in the kitchen while some soft soothing music played in the background. Later, some desserts and an astir champagne. Candlelight is a must. And, of course, a chic flick that has already been seen before...it allows for a much easier distraction.

...if I had a valentine tomorrow, of course.